Taprobane Uncut

OMG OMG.. Eunuch Indi Samarajiva is having sex

2010-06-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read it right. Eunuch Indi Samarajiva is having sex these days. At one level we are happy, happy that an LTTE terrorist lover is finding better alternatives in life, and indeed if we are to go by our sources, eunuch Indi Samarajiva is in the process of getting himself a life. Wait, i think it should be getting laid? Anyways, what i find interesting is his usual pseudo intellectual whine about women's right to protection on the so called leader. Apart from a copied headline that reminds us of Sex and the City, he's even touching on morality, sexual rights and what have you. My immediate reaction was a predictable WTF? But i do wish to respond at some length, not that his shit warrants a reply, but a few clarifications are called for. Hence my rather lame attempt at having sex with our eunuch friend Indi Padashow Samarajiva.

Just two points.

"Sri Lanka has a culture of sexual abuse that starts from the moment a woman walks down the street."

Really now? Srilanka has a CULTURE of sexual abuse? Any evidence, stats to prove this? What exactly is "culture of sexual abuse"? How does a country qualify to be labelled as such? Does this moron not know some international research studies rate Srilanka as one of the safest places for women and children. A google search should do the trick. Facts prove otherwise.

"Even for boys, there is an unspoken cycle of abuse that begins in schools, monasteries and institutions"

May i suggest a simple solution? Don't hang out with the likes of Dinidu De Alwis. Your virginity should be in tact, for as long as you wish to preserve it. We are really saddened your childhood memories are still haunting you, padashow indi. But in all seriousness, you should study the penal code in detail. Law is very clear, and there have been some cases and those have been dealt with, but to make it sound as if Srilanka is a country of child abusers and pedos.. Not right.

Rest of it is absolute nonsense, a very Padashow-like article if you will. I'd like to think journalism is a good profession. But its a fine line between journalism and sensationalism. The Sunday leader should know the distinct boundaries applied to professional and ethical journalism. Not that i expect Fredrica Jansz to have any standards, but such misleading and distorted articles should not be allowed on a mainstream media. At least one must take the moral responsibility, it would have been interesting had Indi Samarajiva done his homework, backed his silly conclusions with stats, research and facts. A mere diatribe of a wannabe intellectual kid doesn't make Srilanka a "country with a culture of sexual abuse" Really now, how silly can one get? At least i know i love my mom, love my girl and love my female colleagues at work, and i'm sure he does too. But Indi Samarajiva portrays as if every other male in this country is either a pedo or a sex maniac with no respect for women.

The article is completely misleading, at best its a creative piece of shit. What can i say? A very "Padashowish" article, Indi. Get well soon, the world isn't as ignorant as you!

Taprobane is back

2010-05-13T10:20:00.000-07:00

You may applaud :)

Brevity, trips, exams, death of a dear one... you name it. Hence the hiatus. But am back, and thus will continue Taprobane investigative blogging.

Will do a proper one next week. Did anyone miss me, BTW? :) or was everyone relieved i was no longer blogging?

Disgraced Sanjana Hattotuwa and sham Groundviews should be ostracized online

2010-04-11T11:01:00.001-07:00

For some among us stupidity is a way of life, its in their very DNA. Hence the repeated instances of blatant displays of stupidity and falsehood online.

As the scandal surrounding Sanjana Hattotuwa and Groundviews continues to unfold after they glorified Sunday Times, Lanka Truth and JVP backed LNSW’s false propaganda against our people’s president his Excellency Mahinda Rajapakse, Groundviews has resorted to removing and editing articles they wrote, but original article containing their false claims can still be found on Google reader.

Should you wish to clarify, here’s the original clip with both VIDEO and audio. Everyone must watch the real clip.

http://video.lankadeepa.lk/videos/245/prasident-vavuniya

Sanjana Hattotuwa’s Groundviews (actually Gripeviews) is at the centre of a huge false propaganda storm that broke on the web during last weekend. Anyone who is not sight or hearing impaired can see this plain truth. Perhaps not Sanjana, who thinks sour loser DBS Jeyaraj is a credible source. Really, this is all you could do, Sanjana?

It will be interesting to see some people retract their own words, Well.. I’m not sure they’re going to do anything at all about it. As for me, I just ignore blogs that engage in false propaganda. But it certainly is a sad way to go through life, just endorsing and sensationalizing what other criminals do. Maybe the tweets make Sanjana feel good inside, but I’m guessing he’s just kinda sad he hasn’t come up with something correct himself yet.

This idiotic terrorist blogger is an example of anti Lankan propaganda carried on the web, not to mention his earlier site Mojo had to be brought down due to false info it carried. Dinidu De Alwis of Perambara did the same with many of his personal sites.

Sittingnuts, Srilanka’s most respected blogger is among the many bloggers that have called for public action against Sanjana Hattotuwa, Groundviews, Sunday Times, Lanka Truth and LNS, and made his displeasure known. Others have twittered extensively about Groundviews’ crime.

It seems that disgraced Sanjana picked up a crap piece from a Lanka Truth article and actually glorified in full to misrepresent facts. This is not all: Sanjana and groundviews are known for their anti mahinda anti lanka propaganda. But the visuals were out and accessible on the web. Either he can’t see, listen, and verify facts or he’s incredibly stupid.

Sanjana Hattotuwa and Groundviews raise other pertinent issues about accuracy, and the role of citizen journalism in Srilanka.

Anyway, all these incidents underline a shocking truth: it is so easy to mislead the masses these days. Even an idiot like Sanjana can do a good job at it.

Sanjana Hattotuwa’s diatribe: A sad but inevitable development in citizen journalism as he plumbs depths of yellow journalism

2010-04-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

Sanjana Hattotuwa, the self proclaimed versatile and prolific writer, has preferred to ventilate his pent-up frustrations on the sad development in his yellow journalism career on his Gripeviews bog.

He has taken a higher morale ground and defended his ‘favorite’ yellow journalism initiative Groundviews as his conscience would not allow him to do otherwise. It is a matter of happiness that he has a conscience.

He alleges that “Media Raj” is a coward because Media Raj is a pseudonymous person. So how about the funny names we come across on Gripeviews? A Little Batti, Aufidius, Banana Tree, Billy, CHA, Citizen, Clean Hands, Concerned Citizen, CRep and so on here?

Going by Sanjana Hattotuwa’s own confusing logic, if Media Raj is a coward, then, so are most of Gripeviews’ authors. If so, this self-righteous editor is only insulting his own ilk, who together have supported him in keeping his otherwise tabloidical troll bog alive or he is humble enough to accept that his own bog is full of cowards.

So anyone using a pseudonym is a coward, Great!

I use a pseudonym myself, for some genuine and some silly reasons, people have their own reasons to be anonymous, but I fail to understand how that makes me or Media Raj or another pseudonymous person a COWARD, as suggested by Sanjana Hattotuwa, the great yellow journalist of our times. Even Lasantha Wickramatunga was known by his pseudonym “Suranimala” for a long time.

My guess is that because Sanjana didn’t have substance and couldn’t really say anything to refute Media Raj, he did the obvious; he branded Media Raj a coward. Again, how clever?

He has also blatantly and shamelessly posted on his bog, expressing his hold-no-bar anger, forgetting the cardinal principal of journalism that you should react to a situation but your anger should not be reflected in your write-up or story.

Being the Executive Editorial Director of the Groundviews World media Group, shouldn’t Sanjana have shared internally, his feedback on his goof ups so serious? Are we sure we are talking transparency & ethics here, or is it really about maturity in offering professional feedback to a constructive criticism in another site? I think such misplaced ego & prima donna attitude is silly, but then again, utterly unsurprising given the nature of the silly little NGO beast.

Sanjana Hattotuwa has not dared to reply to my comment. Two days ago I made a comment in less than 100 words but the holy editor of the Gripeviews world media site did not fit it to include among the comments though it did not contain any abusive language or carry any pornographic reference to his hacked and worn out sad dick, but it was critical of Sanjana Hattotuwa’s functioning as Gripeviews editor and Gripeviews in general.

I don’t think that Sanjana, a known name in the corridors of Pro terrorist NGOs and Anti Lanka conspirators is aware of actual developments in the case. Following the glorious tradition set by his NGO masters, he targets the president, tries to portray him a racist with no proven evidence. This has brought the ugly story of Sanjana Hattotuwa - the sophisticated terrorist.

I'm not sure whether Sanjana Hattotuwa is plain stupid or he wants to join other idiots that make insane claims without any proof. His only claims are based on heresy like this nugget from a little known website called Lanka Truth. Note the name, Lanka truth, my foot. LOL :)

Sanjana's article is leading towards defamation of President as a violent crazed person without evidence and is cause for libel. There should be some effort to bring accountability into writing editorial pieces in Gripeviews and not some a$$wipes.

It was irritably nauseating to read Sanjana Hattotuwa’s article alleging that President made violent, unwelcome remarks at the crowd. Gripeviews, being close to the UNP establishment just spins the story so that all secular morons reading it would read it, spread the word and reach orgasm.

And by making ridiculous claims, the so-called citizen media is only adding false credence to the victimization mentality. We should not forget that there was an election and these statements were aimed at it. I don't understand why UNP has such poor media skills. Their leaders participate regularly in all the fake shows conducted by heavily partisan Gripeviews freak show editor.

I have never seen a more speculative article from anyone. Ever.

This non-sense has to stop somewhere. I’d like to see Media Raj give a detailed explanation, and indeed expose Sanjana Hattotuwa’s hypocrisy. At the minimum, it should be fun to watch the brave soul Sanjana getting owned by a coward.

I guess what I wanted to say was, Fuck You, Sanjana!

Village idiot Indi Samarajiva complains again

2010-04-10T23:46:00.000-07:00

Image: Luxury Jail Suite for SF, proposed by Indi Samarajiva.

There are armchair critics and wannabe intellectuals like Indi Samarajiva who cannot be placated at any level. He will complain against the Government for not having a policy, which supports his idiotic views, complain against MR for campaigning during the elections and rarely offer constructive opinions. Now this idiot complains that Shit Fonseka has no A/C in his remand house and treated without super luxury facilities that he would have liked.

In an article, he claims,

"Anoma’s concerned for her husband’s health as he languishes in jail”

“People make fun of Fonseka for requesting A/C in custody, but it’s hot out. He lost half his guts to the war and his freedom to politics. His wife is just asking for better conditions. Not even a vote. That’s where we’re at, in a ways. It’s hot out there, I understand. That’s just the weather. All one can ask for is a little A/C.”

Really? Is this not the same idiot who once preached morality and how no one is above the law and all that? While I’m not surprised by this bizarre statement given Indi Samarajiva’s not so clandestine romance for Shit Fonseka, I do think certain clarifications are called for.

Firstly, Shit Fonseka is under custody, and treated accordingly, just like any other citizen of the country. Now Indi Samarajiva would have him (SF) sleep peacefully in an A/C’d room. He goes on to make statements without proper reasons like above, fails to reason out why Shit Fonseka needed an A/C. His only pathetic, incoherent excuse is, “Its hot”. So what, moron? Srilanka is a tropical country with a warm climate. The average yearly temperature ranges from 28 °C to nearly 31 °C. Besides, Shit Fonseka, if he’s the greatest soldier that he claims to be, then he should be accustomed to a lifestyle that warrants NO A/C. His demand for A/C is just f***ing hilarious. Why he thinks he’s above the law is simply beyond my ability to comprehend. A/C isn’t a basic necessity over here; if anything it’s a luxury.

Notably, the government did not hold consultations with our pseudo intellectual junior Samarajiva, who seems to have primary responsibility for Shit Fonseka’s welfare in custody.

A tip, if you are reading this Indi, stop being an annoying whiny bitch and start offering something constructive for a change. Oh Yeah.. Thanks for the entertainment, as usual :)

An open letter to Ranil Wickramasinghe

2010-04-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

I’m pissed Ranil. Pissed.

For years I have tolerated your pathetic exits in elections and not said anything in the spirit of democracy. For years I have not commented on the size of your ever-decreasing voter base. For years I have heard you make an ass of yourself at press conferences and make incoherent excuses in your Norwegian accent.

For years I have told myself that Wimal Weerawansa was wrong in saying that you stank and people didn’t like sitting next to you in Parliament. I even supported you when you chose to marry Maithree, despite your odd taste in women (largely because I believed we, the poor paradasian islanders needed a straight leader who was not gay).

But today, along with 20 million other Srilankans whose access to good leaders in politics ended with Merv the perv’s entry, I say enough!

Today, I stop dedicating blog posts to you. Today, I stop calling you a Hitler. Today, I stop Googling “Ranil Wickramasinghe and Prabakaran hot pics”.

Today, I am switching to thuggery and becoming a fan of Merv the Perv.

Of all the people you had to leave poor ol Karu J and his snazzy national suit for – you had to go with Shit Fonseka?

What is it about losers that they always end up with others of their kind? Is this some lameass attempt at making your non-existent life a success? Do you realize why Mangala got a bout of genital warts? Do you realize Prabhakaran might end up making cheesy-ass remarks about you in his hell today? All that development bullshit and you still couldn’t win today?

Years of UNP’s plans, your diktats, western conspiracy theories and millions of young people’s aspirations have been shattered thanks to your horny little uber-gay move in politics. You never will learn politics, will you, loser?

I’m giving you two months before you get sacked and leave the party. Anything more and I will start wearing a Norwegian jersey and keep tweeting about the ceasefire agreements as if my being a supporter will make anyone give a shit.

And take that damn Armani suit off, Ranil. It makes you look like a total gay. Besides, suits are meant for and worn by gentlemen.

Let me however, congratulate you for believing in the concept of losing election so much, that you were willing to go for one and prove your unpopularity, time and again.

As Rauf Hakeem would say, Insha Allah, in case you get arrested tomorrow, you will be the third most famous Srilankan in our prisons since KP and Shit Fonseka. You have no idea how excited I am at the possibility of seeing a tearful Maithree, who may take some inspiration from her older sibling, Anoma drama queen Fonseka.

Let me also express my condolences for being tricked into thinking that Sarath Fonseka was a Srilankan citizen, not so long ago. I completely understand how tricky it can be, given your own confusions with your Norway, UK, and US servantship. (Yes, I invented that word).

Those extra-curricular sessions with Mano Ganeshan and Rauf Hakeem turned out to be a total bitch, huh?

I do want to take the time however, to give you a few pointers about life in general.

I know you’re from my school, where naughty kids are kindly told “Learn or Depart”, you seem to have forgotten this, but there are some things, which I want you to keep in mind in case you decide to venture out in the world again.

Stop acting urban, get on the rural: Again, perhaps you didn’t hear about rural masses being from Colombo Seven and all – but it’s a totally rocking piece of united people you can actually bank on. Dump that Colombo elite feedback that even sounds remotely like a victory. And DON’T rely on that Facebook fanpage and that Pre Polls forecast! Those are are totally fake, fool!
Don’t “fall in love” with Minority politicians: Rauf and Mano will always be what they are- pathetic losers. So if you want to jerk off, let me refer you to www.lovethecock.com – Real gays, real fun!
Stop telling the media election was rigged: Really? That election was rigged is your standard defense everytime? What if you had won? Would that still have been rigged, loser?
Apologize to Mahinda and make friends with Basil: Make friends with them NOW and see how it’s done in style!
Blame it on Eric Solheim: Seriously, if nothing else works, that will.

That said, I wish you and Maithree the best of luck in life. Oh and, before I finish, make sure you retire gracefully, I hear for some life begins at retirement.

Oh Yeah.. Happy New Year :)

No longer does Indi Samarajiva feel obliged to hide his stupidity

2010-03-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

Can somebody on the blogosphere please explain to me why Indi Samarajiva doesn’t seem to get it? No matter how much public revulsion there is at his blatant displays of stupidity, he just goes right ahead. And each day, the level of shamelessness and stupidity only seems to increase.

The latest in a series of obscene displays of stupidity is here, and more can be found here, here, and here.

This chap should be brazen enough to not just write this kind of nonsense but shameless enough to post it on his blog tells us something about the decline in his Buddhist and more importantly Srilankan values.

So, my question: why does Indi Samarajiva persist with these displays of nonsense? Doesn’t he realize how offensive we find it?

My guess is that he enjoys exhibiting his stupidity.

What say you?

Support Sittingnuts. Ban Lefroy

2010-03-23T22:48:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to Sittingnuts, my hero and your villain. I’ve been observing the blogosphere and I am disappointed. At least I can talk of one instance where a blogger revealed naked pictures of another blogger. The fake nature of the picture is a no brainer, yet I think its downright ugly.

I think Sittingnuts is cool, except for his odd taste in women. Why would he even want to consider sending flowers to Subha is beyond me. Such bad taste, SN? Oh this human chemistry I tell ya.

Granted SN needs help in this department. I mean Subha? Ha ha Subha???? That Subha? Gawd…very odd taste, indeed! I certainly would’ve expected a decent choice here. But flowers for Subha? You mean for that 3^rd generation NGO parasite? Wow man.. Such classic taste!

Anyways, SN should be treated with respect, something this Lefroy shit has been unable to do. Bullying can be fun. But revealing naked pics is simply not on. For the record, I’ve said many things about Indi Samarajiva, and will continue to say so.. But I wouldn’t go to the extent of posting nude pics of Indi. It’s just stupid let alone inhuman. Sanity should prevail even whilst attacking an opponent. Its OK you can call him names, prove that he’s not a Libertarian and so on, but revealing fake pics?

Its not like others don’t know how Lefroy is attacking SN with the blessings of Indi Samarajiva, but no one talks. Why? Where are those morale preachers in the blogosphere? Where are they hiding now? Why is everyone silent?

I don’t think Indi will ban you from Kottu if you talk against him. Learn from my example. Truth is this sick man Indi loves cheap publicity at all costs… so more the merrier for him. He apparently loves all the negative things said about him.

I’d like to see Lefroy banned from Kottu, but Indi won’t do that. How would he ban his own attack blog? LOL!

Posting nude pictures and claiming they were Sittingnuts’s is not only hilarious but also a sign of frustration and one’s own bankruptcy.

Lefroy, sorry, Indi, please be creative will ya?

Akon

2010-03-23T00:17:00.000-07:00

Seems like I’ve missed the fun involving some practicing Buddhists (pun intended) and a certain Mr.Akon.

I am not embarrassed to admit I hadn’t heard of this guy until recently when I stumbled upon some blogs. So I Googled him. Call me a cave man or even backward, that’s fine. But I honestly didn’t know this chap who seems to be making news these days.

Yesterday’s attack on MTV office should be condemned, and I, Taprobane Uncut, unreservedly condemn this cowardly act. For the record, I don’t like MTV. I think they are idiots, if anything they are full of nonsense. Notwithstanding, I still wouldn’t endorse an attack on them. It takes all kinds of people to make this world a fun place to live. Yes, MTV jokers are important for our existence. They remind us that we have to be sane and not act like the way they do. But an attack on them is uncalled for. That's downright silly.

When SRK was here to perform we had a similar situation. SRK escaped unhurt, got paid without even having to perform, managed to get some free publicity and sympathy for him, and he WON whichever way you look at it. But Srilanka LOST not to mention the bad press. Why? Extremism if not religious extremism.

Religion is a personal choice; as such it should remain personal. I am not a good Buddhist, but I can tell you if Buddha were alive today he would embrace Akon with love and compassion.

While I am no marketing guy, I know there are ways to market a country, and I’d think bringing foreign artists and entertainers is one way. I don’t see why it should be stopped.

Some idiots even want to kill Akon.. Really? Why not you kill all your myths about Buddhism, and start practicing it the way it was meant to be?

Ranil Wickramasinghe and Adolf Hitler

2010-03-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have strong views on Ranil: I think he is a mass murderer, and Ranil frightens me.

Equally, many of his supporters have views that are as extreme – in the opposite direction. I am not going to change their minds. And they are not going to change mine.

He may still be President one day. In a country where fake Dutugemunu Sir Mervin Assclown can become minister, anything is possible.

Ranil’s failure to hit the national big-time reminds us that even if a politician has the support of the people of his own electorate and of a vocal hardcore of devotees across Srilanka, and paid Internet propagandists and some Facebook fan pages, that counts for little in national politics.

Ranil is a self-styled disciple of Adolph Hitler. He has often expressed his admiration for Hitler and even members of his own party sometimes refer to him as the Hitler of the UNP.

We have a skewed, screwed and distorted view of what it means to be a democracy. People who support Ranil seem to think that a known, strong and honest criminal is better than a hypocrite, weak and dishonest criminal.

I think some interesting parallels can be drawn between Adolf Hitler and our disgraced loser Ranil Wickramasinghe. Here’s some:

Ranil goes after his agenda that he makes it clear right in the beginning (like Hitler) and it involves targeting certain sections blaming them for all ills of the society.
Ranil is in-your-face candid about his Batalanda crimes (like Hitler) which people see as a sign of honesty in comparison to other weak and corrupt leaders who push the same agenda but are not honest about it.
Hitler was tall, with average build. Ranil also has a similar frame, which is a very rare appearance actually.
Hitler was a devout Christian, who praised Christianity several times during his public appearances. Ranil, of course is same.
Hitler was a non-veg; Ranil reportedly considers a non-veg diet an essential for his not so sexy body and his sad soul.
Hitler was the fieriest speaker ever to walk this earth. I wouldn’t go that far with Ranil, but from the video footages, we can conclude Ranil is same. Like Hitler, Ranil practices and spends lot of time on mastering his oratory.
Both are self-centered individualists: Hitler married his fiancé only during the final days of ww-2; Ranil remained a bachelor for the most part, but was forced to marry Maithree. Both are reported to have no or very little number of close friends. Both come across as too much engrossed in their ‘SELF’ to pay any attention to anyone else.
Hitler rose to power in the aftermath of the First World War, when Germans needed a strong leader whom they could trust to win back their pride for them. Ranil tried to capitalize on sick Prabakaran’s eelam war. Both rose, because of a community’s insecurity.
Both invoked regional identities: Hitler did it with the ideals of ‘German pride’. Ranil is doing it with the slogans of ‘Colombo Elite’.
And when it comes to intolerance of a certain community: Ranil sure goes the same distance with Hitler along this road.

Any more similarities? Please add them on the comment thread.

Opinions are like assholes

2010-03-22T02:02:00.000-07:00

Everyone has one!

These are my opinions.

Maybe they don’t matter much but I’m still entitled to have my asshole, don’t you think, assholes?

So stop spitting on my comment thread and throwing garbage at me. For god sake I am not Sittingnuts’ second avatar.

I do moderate comments, henceforth comments claiming I am so and so will not be entertained. Sorry, but this is where i draw the line.

For the record, I do love Sittingnuts. I think he's a wonderful human being and a smart blogger who is married to his own convictions. I love him, perhaps i'd even venture out to say he's my inspiration when it comes to exposing iditos, hypocrisy and conspiracy on the blogosphere.

While i consider it a privilege to be called "Sittingnuts' second avatar" it does bug me sometimes. I think i'd like to carve out my own niche as an investigative blogger.

If my asshole is sexy, then kiss me. If not there’s always a choice, Indi seems to have a fancy asshole. Kiss him!

The stranger visits his roots

2010-03-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Having mixed emotions and this roller coaster ride of emotions is driving me up the wall is an understatement. Reached Ambalangoda yesterday, and I am confused here. But I shouldn’t be because technically speaking this is where I truly belong, this is where my ancestors lived for many generations and I suspect some of the present and next generation will continue to live.

Grandma’s death is taking its toll on me. I don’t know why I feel the way I do, but I do. Its freaking crazy. I am a stranger here, amongst my own relatives.

I lived in Colombo with my parents but left home when I was 19. Thanks to Dialog, I could afford my own boarding room then. My career took off, so did my arrogance. But I’ve grown with time I guess.

I left home for strange reasons. Lets not go into the funny reasons, but as fate had it I left home when I was still a teen technically. My lifestyle meant I had very little savings, during this time I dated some, slept with some, but eventually met this girl who would become my live in partner. My mom threw a fit. It was unheard of, certainly unheard of in my family.

I had very little choice then, I felt I needed to standby this girl who had left her home for me, and so I did, and still do… this commitment to a girl would only mean one thing, leaving my family and earning their wrath.

My family is traditional in every sense of the word. Granny was a very strong woman. She was calling the shots on all matters and I always felt she was an arrogant old bitch obsessed with power and status. These “Walawa” women are strange species I tell ya. They think they are it. Sad creatures !

I never could relate to her as her grandchild let alone agree with anything she said. I avoided her whenever possible. This continued for 5 years until this Tuesday when I got the call. She was in her deathbed, and someone who still had some mercy left for me felt the need to inform me. I went to see, I think more as an obligation but it was too late by then.

The thing about death, it brings people together. I’ve come with my live in girlfriend; so far no one seemed to care. At least that’s a relief. Under normal circumstances on a normal day I could only imagine a war. My younger cousins are calling her Akki, and I must admit I feel proud. At least they seem to care, and I know it’s a genuine one. So there’s hope there, with these teeny weenie cousins of mine. They seem settled.

Granny is gone, and for the better I think. I don’t know, but this life is crazy. I am surrounded by my relatives, but only the younger ones are talking to me.

Funeral arrangements are being made and I have been told to keep away from it. I did try to help, only to receive this “Best way you can help us is by confining yourself to that room” reply. That’s OK too. I love this corner room that I have been given. It has this wonderful view of a cinnamon plantation plus Internet access. Cool I think.

Buddhist culture is fucking silly. Its not like I have committed a murder here. If anything I cared for a human that cared for me. What exactly is wrong here, I don’t know..

I am accused of this living together thing, like it’s a taboo in this society. Yes I love Savithri, I care for her, and I sleep with her, and we are both fine with it. We do intend having a proper family together someday. Proper as in legally signing papers and stuff, but that’s weird. Papers are what they are, papers. They don’t build bonds between hearts. I don’t exactly see what the issue here.. Traditions, customs, norms, practices and culture are all man made. Anything man made is questionable; at least I feel that way. Back in the old day some clever man had thought this is how we should live and we are following it blindly to date. Isn’t that silly?

If you have an understanding family consider yourself damn lucky. Treasure those moments for I miss them you know it only when you lose it.

Death is cool sometimes. I managed to see faces I’ve been longing to see for years now. No one talks, but no one is objecting to my presence in this place either. So I am hopeful, hopeful that one day I’ll get to see my mom accept Savithri… or is this wishful thinking. I guess only time will tell, till then, bye…..

Obituary – Grandma

2010-03-18T01:33:00.000-07:00

It is with some mixed feelings that I write this post. The relationship we shared was not a perfect one, nevertheless she’s my granny, and I am her blood. Nothing changes that bond.

I haven’t been in talking terms with her for about 5 years now, but when I did go to see her last night she was already gone, and I felt this strange void for the first time in my life.

Death is a lesson, it teaches life and how precious some relations can be. As for me I messed it up and no denying that. I am the loser here.

I remain anonymous to most on the blogosphere, but there are very few of you who are close to me do know me, and are all abroad, hence this note, as I’m unable to inform everyone individually.

Her remains at the funeral parlor, and we will be taking her to our ancestral village this evening.

Family & friends overseas, I changed my mobile number last week, if you are reading this you can still contact me on Savithri’s number. I am using that currently.

I don’t know what else I can say….

Peace guys… If you have your granny living with you, consider yourself lucky. You obviously don’t want to be a loser like me… Life waits for none.

RIP Aachi.. May you attain Nirvana… And forgive me for I was never a good grandson… You deserved a better person than me…

RIP my darling.

Once a general now a comedian

2010-03-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

Disgraced Sarath Fonseka is a loser beyond anyone's imagination. This man has virtually reduced himself to become a comedian. Did you guys see this? Have a look at the comments there. They are even more hilarious.

Channel 4? Smuggled out? ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa :) :) :)

Vote Duminda Silva

2010-03-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

Elections are just around the corner and I’d safely assume each one of you on the Srilankan blogosphere has your favorite UPFA candidate. Well if not UPFA, who else?

Given that you are a UPFA supporter like myself, then you may wonder who to choose coz UPFA has too many good candidates. And I understand your dilemma. It’s a valid one.

And while many are veteran politicians with unblemished character and track record, personally I’d prefer a younger candidate with a vision. Hence I support my beloved and respected brother Duminda Silva.

If you'd like more info on the work he's done already and his future plans and personal profile etc.. I'd like you to visit his website here.

Don't be mislead by unproven slanderous allegations, and bizarre speculations by Indi Samarajiva and his ilk who don't have anything better happening in their lives.

Remember brother Duminda's number, it’s EIGHT. (8)

Please do vote the candidate you and your next generation deserve. It’s Duminda, and his number is EIGHT.

I wish you the best and the blessings of the triple gem.

God bless. May Allah bless. I don't know how Hindus say it, so anyway, God bless my blogosphere friends. Do Vote Duminda.

Unsolicited YOU

2010-03-16T05:35:00.000-07:00

Note to people who want to unfollow me on Twitter: No need to tell me. Just hit "unfollow". Despite how good sending nasty messages may feel.

You, the unsolicited YOU, Should you feel the need to kiss Indi's ass, please....by all means. That's not my business, but don't expect me to do what you do, Lefroy.

You know what? You are not kidding me. He he :) :)

My doctor saw my buttocks people

2010-03-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

This is quickly and steadily becoming A List of My Ailments Blog, UGH!

I had a minor accident this Friday and was asked to do an x-ray of my tailbone. Didn’t go to office today. I am at home coz its not okay to travel with this... this... broken butt? I broke my butt. There's no getting around. The doctor said to take my butt pillow with me to toilet, and I'd be fine.

Yesterday, while getting a second set of X-rays on my tailbone I met this interesting Lab guy.

Me: Sorry about my butt peeking through the sarong.

Lab guy: Oh, I... I didn't even notice. I was busy setting up the film.

Me: Oh God, sorry for even bringing it up! Here I am apologizing for my butt. Just ignore me.

Lab guy: I've seen a lot of butts, believe me. No big deal.

Me: I bet you have! You could probably write a book about butts!

Lab guy: I could, and I have to say, yours is totally fine. Not nearly as scary as some of the butts I've seen.

Me: That is probably one of the best compliments I've ever received in my life. You have no idea.

Lab guy: Was that too much information? I'm sorry

Me: HAHA! Too much information! So this is part of your job?

Lab guy: Well butts don’t interest me anymore. I mean I see an average 35, daily.

Me: 35?

Lab guy: SMILES :) :) :) :)

Turns out the lab guy is in fact a junior doctor doing his intern. I had assumed he was a laboratory technician that helps with X-rays… Then it also became quite apparent he was a Royalist when he started to talk about Roy Tho… So effectively I showed my butt to a fellow royalist? Now that’s weird. I thought only Thomians do that.

This butt revealing incident and my butt conversation with this butt doctor also got my butt thinking, people…

How do male gynecologists get aroused when they go home? I mean they see enough at work, no? What can I say except that I pity those wives…

In other news I am supposed to go see this traditional ayurveda practitioner somewhere in Horana, apparently for my butt treatment. He’s a monk with a magical touch it seems. Wonder what this traditional butt doctor has to say about my butt now.

Life I tell ya.. Weird.. I mean this butt business is :) :)

NB: No offence to doctors but I just think this job sucks. I mean seeing butts for a living? What kind of a job is that? How disgusting can someone get?

Sanajana Hattotuwa embraces fashion. My eyes scream for mercy !

2010-03-11T00:17:00.000-08:00

Source: Photo Screenshot taken by Taprobane Uncut Via Gripe views

What a delightful and unexpected present!!

We are seriously speechless.

My eyes! What have you done to my eyes!

So I guess being formal is the new norm for Sanjana. Honestly, how does he avoid female fans? The proportions of his body are just OTHERWORLDLY.

Cuteness!

Good lord, he is UNBEARABLY attractive.

It's almost too much! ALMOST.

Sanajana is gracing the pages of Gripeviews these days looking utterly FLAWLESS. We think he brings the SEKS all dressed up like that, but to be completely frank, with this one, the less clothes, the better.

Guess he has nothing better to do? Isn't he still on that show about the war victims, you know, on that YA TV, or whatever?

Regardless, The NGO star peacenik has just finished the final touches on a brand new fashion serial. The show will actually be the second in his arsenal, the first having been recorded over 30 years go, when he was a toddler.

Come a long way, haven't ya, Sanjana Hattotuwa?!

Sources say that Sanjana has a personal grooming expert work on him these days.

Nothing wrong with this, as uniqueness aids in differentiating him. But the multiple colors distract the eye. A unified, limited color palette would go a long way, especially in early phase of adoption from those Bata slipper days.

So is he trying to reach a female demographic with this change? We wish him luck.

What do you think about the new actors taking over?

Indi Samarajiva texted me

2010-03-10T22:18:00.000-08:00

Indi Samarajiva texted me,

"You turn me on."

Followed by "Sorry that was meant for Lefroy"

Gripe views Presents 'Sanjana in hell with Prabhakaran’

2010-03-10T01:03:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: Parody post ahead. For entertainment purpose only.

Recently Sanjana Hattotuwa of Gripe views conducted an interview with Velupilai Piraphakaran Anna the CEO of the LTTE, but due to security reasons some chap has censored it’s broadcast.

This interview was recorded live in hell. NGO business mogul Sanjana spoke to ghost Pirpakaran in a confidential manner. Sanjana always maintained a corporate business style approach in his trademark Bata slippers complimented by his classic unshaven gross face.

But me being who I am got the banned video tape of the interview, however I won’t allow you people to see it because the footage is highly controversial, So I’ll just post the transcript.

====

Sanjana: Mr.Pirapakaran welcome to the program. Thank you for allowing me to come to your hell.

Pirapakaran Anna: Thank you, Vanakkam.

Sanjana: Let me begin by asking you this: You’ve been in business now for the past thirty years. How is today’s terrorism different from when say, you began the LTTE.

Pirapakaran Anna: Today you know it’s a lot more competitive, we live in a globalized world. There are more terror outfits coming up which is a good thing to witness because the customer has more options to choose from.

Sanjana: You spoke about the globalization bit, can you just elaborate?

Pirapakaran Anna: Sure, in Tamilnadu for example the LTTE is the highest rated terror group. The Taliban has made tremendous progress from Afghanistan into Pakistan.

Eelam is today a worldwide phenomenon, even in places like England, Norway the industry has rapidly made progress.

Sanjana: Coming to Srilanka, you’ve been the market leader in terror for the major part of this decade, you personally had a lot of influence in wresting the #1 position from the JVP, How did you crack the Srilankan market?

Pirapakaran Anna: We didn’t want to restrict operations to only one geographical area, namely the north and east. I realized pretty early that if we were to succeed in Srilanka we had to diversify. That’s why we aggressively increased operations into the port, airport, dalada maligawa, central bank, mosques etc. You know build a pan lanka presence.

Sanjana: And you’ve done really well in Colombo.

Pirapakaran Anna: Yes, we realized that we were simply not doing enough in Colombo so we set up separate manufacturing bases in Colombo, reduced the entry age for wannabe “Maaveerar” from 18 to 11 and created a new headquarters under our ‘Lama LTTE’ brand. Sooner, the results have shown.

Sanjana: But the world is going through a global recession. How have you avoided the credit crunch to ensure enough liquidity and cash flow?

Pirapakaran Anna: You know Sanjana, people ask me that a lot!

Sanjana: Hehe! What do you say!

Pirapakaran Anna: I’ve always believed that in an industry like terrorism Money laundering funding is the best way to procure money. Our contacts through the years in places like the UK have come through which has ensured uninterrupted supply of credit. That’s how we have avoided being squeezed by this credit crunch.

Sanjana: But the LTTE has been accused of not handing over power to its next generation of leaders, what you have to say about that.

Pirapakaran Anna: That is an unfair comment, Sanjana. It might have been so a decade ago but not now. We Believe That The Youth Of Today Are The Key To Blowing Up Srilanka Tomorrow.

That’s why we started our youth cell, Lama LTTE Movement of Srilanka which has played a key role. The aim being to recruit infidel haters earlier and tap into their college’s placement cell so that they can intern with us right from the moment they come out of college.

Sanjana: You’ve also pioneered the low cost bombing model in Srilanka which is uniquely indigenous; tell us a bit about that.

Pirapakaran Anna: Funny story really! I was sitting at home one day waiting for the local restaurant guy in the jungles to bring my lunch. He arrived on a cycle carrying my lunch box.

At that moment it hit me, the LTTE could save lots of money if we put the bombs on cycles or in lunch carriers to do damage instead of trying to ambush Army Convoys.

And since Cycles and lunch Boxes don’t cost much we had to bear only the RDX costs and the money we were saving on delivery could be diverted into making more bombs. That’s how and I’m proud to say this, the LTTE has managed to create the world’s lowest cost supply chain oriented serial bombings.

Sanjana: And this is fully localized,

Pirapakaran Anna: Oh yes! We patented the system so not even the Palestinian Hezbollah can steal it. It’s a custom made carrier system which allows multiple bombs to explode via timing devices set on cycles on the same day.

Sanjana: And did you receive enough support from the past governments?

Pirapakaran Anna: Definitely! Ranil Wickramasinghe has personally ensured our success with his ‘Ceasefire Agreement Scheme’.

Sanjana: But what about present government, Rajapakshe I mean.

Pirapakaran Anna: Well they were hesitant to dilute their king stake holding in the company so we ended up becoming competitors

Sanjana: Well let’s talk about Norway.

Pirapakaran Anna: Oh they’ve been the best!

Sanjana: Really! How?

Pirapakaran Anna: Well they give us so much aid that much of it also comes to the LTTE to perform pro eelam anti- lanka activities. In fact LTTE infiltration across the Line of control is powered largely by Norwegian Aid money.

Sanjana: Who would you say is your biggest competitor in Srilanka?

Pirapakaran Anna: Without doubt the JVP. You know their past right?

Sanjana: Are you worried that they might take the #1 position from you in outsourced terror activities?

Pirapakaran Anna: No, No, No! See their base is still quite small. They’re only dominant in the southern jungles. Moreover their business methods are quite ridiculous.

The JVP for example only likes to blow up things or burn things in Parliament.

With us the LTTE on the other hand, terror is an art. That’s why the LTTE Terrorist Experience Is Much Better Than Any other terror experience.

Sanjana: Where do you go from here, Mr.Pirapakaran?

Pirapakaran Anna: Well right now I’m busy. There’s plenty to do.

Sanjana: But what about all the recent talk of Corporations giving back to society, don’t you think the LTTE should do that as well.

Pirapakaran Anna: Of course we do! And that’s why we also operate our TRO charities. Not even the Taliban does this because like I said earlier educating the youth of today is the key to blowing up Srilanka tomorrow.

Sanjana: It makes more of an impact the second time you say it!!

Pirapakaran Anna: Live and LTTE die I say!

Sanjana: He He! With that we come to a wrap of this program. Thank you Mr.Pirapakaran for talking to Gripeviews, my sorry ass award winning yellow citizen journalism initiative.

Pirapakaran Anna: Always a pleasure, Vanakkam

Indi Samarajiva’s double standards on plagiarism

2010-03-09T22:10:00.000-08:00

Our criminal friend Indi Samarajiva has double standards on everything, be it blogger anonymity, freedom of speech, rules on Kottu or Plagiarism.

I had claimed his Article 14 is a copy paste work, mostly. That is terrible journalism, but then it’s the leader in yellow journalism, and all’s fair in Lankan media. So yes, his mediocre content can be justified to silly Lankans.

What’s interesting is that he found plagiarism distasteful despite being listed a questionable Flickr user whose photos were nominated for deletion for suspected copyright violation on Wikimedia.

Just see this link here. Read content carefully.

Yesterday, in that classic emo drama he said "There are plenty of reasons to dislike me or disagree with me, but making up non-existent documents and sources is basically just libel, and absurd at that."

Oh Yes, non-existent documents, and sources?

Incredibly stupid? But then it’s all in the life of Indi Samarajiva, benchmark of stupidity.

Now Indi daaaahling, please go write another emo drama queen article and try salvage your name. May God bless you kid !

On my bad name

2010-03-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

Drama queen Indi Samarajiva’s mea culpa Tuesday was a remarkable event in the sense that the blogosphere basically stopped for 15 minutes to hear him admit cheating bloggers.

Perhaps Indi, who’s already back in rehab, can take solace in that fact ... and in this slow jam remix of apology with those of his aforementioned brethren:

---------------------------

On my bad name

08/03/10. Rameshwaram India.

Many of you on Kottu are my friends. Many of you on Kottu know me. Many of you have partied with me or you've supported me.

Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.

This Taprobane has been making some noise now. The news is coming out in bits and pieces, and I think it is important I clarify a few things. Yes, clearly, I have been unfair and thousands of bloggers have been saying so. I am aware of this, and this is not an issue that has ‘just come up’. I’ve been grappling with it for years, but kept silent about it.

Some people have told me that I should keep silent. I did try to be silent but didn’t work. Also, people say this is how blogosphere works. Sorry, I disagree. Not all Blogosphere works like this. There are a lot of good people too. And every scandal like this helps change things for the better. And that is what I am all about anyway.

Taprobane implies I am a publicity whore. I have maintained two blogs at indica and padashow, worked on some unnamed mysterious websites, written books only to attend GLF, so celebrity bloggers like myself can easily add a few controversial lines to their blog and cause a stir to increase traffic. Making mistakes is human. Not accepting it is a sense of entitlement that only comes from an unchecked ego. However, my conscience has given its verdict.

I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have done these things to other bloggers, and to my parents. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.

I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this blogosphere. I have let you down, and I have let down my ass kissers. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment.

To everyone involved in my blogosphere, our work is more important than ever. Five years ago, I envisioned helping Srilankan bloggers achieve their dreams through Kottu blogosphere. This work remains unchanged and will continue to grow, and I am dedicated to making sure that continues.

But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did, and profited the way I profited. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position.

For all that I have done, I am so sorry.

I have a lot to atone for, but there is one issue I really want to discuss. The issue involved here is my repeated irresponsible criminal behavior. I was unfaithful to bloggers. I had donors. I cheated. What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame.

I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn't apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I ran straight through the boundaries that a blogger should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life to build Kottu and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled.

I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my parents, my friends, my beloved Kottu, and Srilankan bloggers all around the world who admired me.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends, and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity.

I once heard, and I believe it's true, it's not what you achieve in life that matters; it's what you overcome. Achievements on Kottu are only part of setting an example. Character, decency and integrity are what really count.

Young bloggers used to point to me as a role model for themselves. I owe all those kids a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

It's hard to admit that I need help, but I do. I have a long way to go. But I've taken my first steps in the right direction.

As I proceed, I understand people have questions. I understand that Taprobane Uncut wants to ask me for the details and the times I cheated.

Taprobane has written things about my family. Despite the damage I have done, I still believe it is right to shield my family from the public spotlight. They did not do these things; I did.

Whatever my wrongdoings, for the sake of my family, please leave them alone. I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my family to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me like Lefroy to become a better man. That's where my focus will be.

I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my Ammi taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years.

Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught.

As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I've learned that's how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy. I would like to thank my friends on Kottu for understanding why I'm making these remarks.

In therapy I've learned the importance of looking at my spiritual life, the role that whales play and keeping in balance with my freelance freebee life. I need to regain my balance and be centered so I can save the things that are most important to me, my kottu, my blogs and my writings.

That also means relying on others for help. I've learned to seek support from my peers in therapy, and I hope someday to return that support to others who are seeking help.

Since Taprobane broke this scandal, I have received many e-mails, and phone calls from people expressing good wishes. To everyone who has reached out to me and my family, thank you. Your encouragement means the world to me. I want to thank bloggers for their understanding while I work on my behavior. I look forward to seeing my fellow bloggers on Kottu.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the blog admin that my Kottu deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.

Finally, there are many people in this blogosphere and there are many people at home who believed in me. I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

God Bless,

Much love.

Drama Queen Indi

Asshole No 9

2010-03-09T01:35:00.000-08:00

Having introduced Srilanka’s greatest Asshole No 10 yesterday, today we introduce Asshole No 9.

Our winner has been the subject of many popularity surveys before. But this survey was held from 18^th May 2009 to 26^th Jan this year across districts, metros, cities and villages.

Undoubtedly, such an extensive survey to determine Srilanka’s best assholes has never been undertaken. This is indeed the most comprehensive survey to unearth the well hidden and quintessential profoundly Srilankan asshole (no pun intended), yet another pioneering effort from Taprobane Uncut!

Please note, we didn’t include assholes from other countries that supposedly have an influence on Srilanka. For this reason assholes like Miliband, Solheim, Diaspora and others were not considered.

Imagine an asshole so big that its very name unites and divides the country. You don’t have to anymore! He’s here and his name is Ranil Wickramasinghe respectfully known as Ranil. His colleagues describe him as an enigma and a mystery. Never media shy, Ranil always makes a public appearance after losing.

So without further ado,

and now for the winner of Taprobane Uncut’s best Srilankan assholes, here he comes, number nine asshole in Srilanka. Drum roll please!

Name: Ranil

Full Name: Ranil Shriyan Wickremesinghe

Occupation: Perpetual loser, dreamer, presidential hopeful, aspiring father someday

Asshole Since: 1949

A – Score: 9.91/10

Bio: This veteran, vintage asshole makes Tiger Woods seem like a Tiger cub. Largely forgotten, Ranil, stormed his way into the headlines when he was shown fornicating with well-endowed dickey males as he simultaneously balanced state issues with wet tissues!

Listening to west on this side and hitting boys on that side is all in a day’s work for this flesh and blood symbol of manliness.

Described already as Srilanka’s most energetic, young, vibrant and dynamic election loser, Ranil is also an expert asshole. Yet to run out of shit, never known to be down by the defeats, this Director of the blockbuster film ‘Batalanda Days’, Ranil, is known widely as the man who dares young wannabe politicians to think beyond losing elections.

If he was George Bush then Muntazar Al Zaidi would throw his shoes at him, but he’s not!!

Bigger than George Bush, That’s how big an asshole Ranil is, constantly in the pursuit of Justice, Ranil was recently stabbed in the face with a 58% majority, a much bigger salute to his abilities than just having shoes thrown at him.

Always overcoming adversity with a smile, this American darling has also been approached by Srilankan Clogard to feature in their toothpaste ads to highlight that fantastic smile born out of the satisfaction of having lost 20 elections.

We definitely look forward to seeing more of Ranil and his smiley face in future!

So here’s to the man who constantly reminds us, not all’s lost even when wiped out. Ranil you are the 9^th greatest asshole in Srilanka, and we salute you.

What an Asshole!

Identity

2010-03-08T21:38:00.000-08:00

Since I opened my comment thread I’ve had many people commenting. While I thank everyone for your comments, I have however moderated some comments. Basically I have not published them for the simple reason that they seem to suggest I am Sittingnuts, NB, Arun, Subha, Lohan, Morquendi, and Asvajit etc.

Imagination I tell ya!

And while I don’t know any of the above mentioned, I however wish to remain anonymous, and I think I am entitled to that, as a blogger. It’s not like I am ghost or anything, just that I wish to keep my identity private, and hope you would respect that. Besides my identity makes no sense here. It’s the things I say that should count if at all.

Many also seem to suggest I am a journo myself. I am not. Some say I am Christian, I am not. I am a Buddhist, in my early 20s, attached to a private telecom player. Haa… Anymore about myself, Indi would know me, and I don’t want him to.

I stand by my claims, and shall prove them in due course. Matter of time peeps. Lets have some fun with facts than be prejudgemental about identities. Like I said, it doesn’t matter who I am as long as I say something constructive.

Hope I have clarified. Thanks peeps.

OMG OMG he's a saint people, he’s a saint, apparently!

2010-03-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

WTF?

Indi Samarajiva.

That’s right. Indi Samarajiva, Take a good look at him.

I know he looks like a legitimate badass in the pic with his straight out of hell face. But trust me; actually he’s a very nice man. See, he even loves acting innocent when caught red handed.

What can I say? Drama Queen!

If you’ve read my blog you’d know I claimed he was a terrorist and he gets Kottu funded by others. How fucking provocative is that? Now this cunning young man does the obvious. Pleads innocence in the most convincing and emotionally compelling way.

The man is visibly shaken. It comes through his writing. First off, why should it affect you if you aren’t guilty?

I intend exposing him fully, and I do intend giving a blow-by-blow account of all his scandals and hypocrisy. Just watch this space peeps.

Meanwhile, I also know much of you folks don’t like him, but are afraid to ask him anything direct. But, you too can take part. If you have a question for Indi Uncle then write it down in the comment thread and I’ll be sure to ask him but it better be good, if it has no validity then I won’t ask him and then you can go take a bath for asking such a stupid question.

I think Mr.Indi had better watch out. So Folks. Get Ready. World War 3 is about to begin. Live here.

As a Buddhist, I too love peace, Buddha’s way. But this asshole need not be shown any love. Sorry Indi, your real face will be revealed. Have fun !

Rohan Samarajiva responded

2010-03-08T03:08:00.000-08:00

In my previous article, I had made certain claims about Prof.Rohan Samarajiva, and his organization Lirneasia.

Upon seeing my article, Rohan Samarajiva did respond and claimed they were factually incorrect. I have however deleted paragraphs concerning Lirneasia and Rohan, as I felt it was wrong for us to bring them into a discussion about Indi Samarajiva. As such, I have edited my original article.

Notwithstanding, I wish to clarify that as an investigative blogger, I do go into great depths before any article is published on this blog. Never have I said a thing that is unverified. Therefore, my claims still stand. I am not backing off. Not one bit.

Only reason for the deletion is because I intend addressing this separately, some time in future, and Rohan is more than welcome to respond and raise his concerns when I do blog about it. Rest assured his comments will be published unedited. We have not deleted his earlier comment either.

Taprobane Uncut is no ordinary blog. It strives to be professional and is committed to factual accuracy. Hence the issue raised will be dealt with in great detail. Rohan will be notified when facts are presented here.

Thank you for the response Mr. Professor, but a response doesn't purify sins !

Srilanka’s Top 10 Greatest Assholes: A Taprobane Uncut Exclusive

2010-03-08T02:16:00.000-08:00

We here at Taprobane Uncut pride ourselves in recognizing Srilanka’s best, whether it be our best bloggers, best restaurants or even best losers. We thought why not apply this idea to Srilanka’s Best Assholes also!

So we conducted a survey in association with Nielsen Media Research and The Srilankan Council For Social Welfare to determine Srilanka’s Best And Most Well Respected Most Popular Assholes.

The methodology is based on a ranking system, each asshole is determined on the A-SCORE™© or Asshole Score. The whole asshole score is a compilation of individual hole scores consisting of the survey results, an independent committee recommendation report and an evaluation by a jury of peers and other well-respected assholes.

This is the nation’s tribute to the best ASSHOLES chosen from a diverse array of fields of Politics, Sport, Entertainment, Music, The Arts, Television and many many more.

So without further ado, we present Srilanka’s best ASSHOLES. A tribute and a small way to appreciate those among us who are so full of shit that they remind us everyday of what it means to be that uniquely Srilankan asshole.

In this episode we introduce asshole number ten.

#10

Name: Indi

Full Name: Indrajit Samarajiva

Occupation: Jobless, Morality Teacher, Fiction writer, Blogger, Wannabe Politician, News Breaker, Host of Ind.ca, Man of Many Talents.

Asshole Since: 1982

A – Score: 9.9/10

Bio: With a first name as intimidating as ‘Indrajit’, Samarajiva realized pretty early in life that if he wanted to be an asshole he had to shorten it to Indi. Yeah! That’s how short his thing is.

Given to constant bouts of hysteria, manic depression and bi-polar syndrome with a severe case of schizophrenia. This mental patient should have been fastened to his bed in a mental asylum since he was diagnosed with a severe ‘penis fixation’ while still a boy.

Instead Sunday Leader decided to do the next best possible thing: Put Him On a Column.

Since then there’s been no looking back for this mentally unstable lunatic with a dick infatuation. Seen weekly on the tabloid, he immerses himself completely into being an asshole constantly throwing temper tantrums, hissy fits, blaring his lungs screaming at vulnerable and hormonally imbalanced Srilankans.

Known fondly to his dear cyber idiots as ‘Kottu Indi’ this brilliant intellectual can count chickens even before they hatch!!

Holder of Srilanka’s most famous goatee, this bespectacled gentleman is Srilanka’s most well known political expert on many things including election astrology.

The face of credibility and the scion of modern day Srilankan journalism. Indi Samarajiva is a stalwart. Credited with the invention of Kottu, Indi Samarajiva’s Kottu has done to journalism what the USB Drive has done to computers.

The Americans may brag about CNN News, clearly they haven’t seen Kottu.

Astrological predictions and sex stories aside nobody covers crabs, whales, and fiction better than Indi Samarajiva and his team of fearless journalists.

The man who has interviewed Sarath Fonseka more times than anyone else on the planet was the personal choice of SF who called up Indi Samarajiva just before his coup at the Cinnamon Lakeside preferring him over other media now speaks volumes for Kottu and Indi Samarajiva’s incredible power to influence the masses.

So here’s to the man who created a news channel simply out of thin air and fart smells. All the way from articles about whales to creating a cyber community of idiots.

When you score a near perfect 9.9/10 then it’s guaranteed that you are the greatest and the best asshole of the current era! Maybe the greatest asshole of all time!!!

Though he would never actually stand a chance in hell against someone like Ranil Wickramasinghe, this young asshole has a long way to go before he becomes a bigger, larger and more widespread asshole but we applaud him for his efforts and entertainment. Well done Indi and keep going, you’re the 10th most popular asshole in Srilanka!

We salute you Mr.Samarajiva.

What an asshole!

NB: Other Assholes next week, one asshole at a time peeps!

Expose: Indi Samarajiva the criminal cyber bully scams Srilankan blogosphere

2010-03-07T19:52:00.001-08:00

The Internet, of course, is no stranger to hoaxes. Cyberspace has become home to so many criminals with fabrications. But Indi Samarajiva’s fabrication was constructed so expertly and made so emotionally compelling that even when faced with evidence that it was not true, many people who were sophisticated Internet veterans set aside their skepticism and continued to believe it.

So who is Indi Samarajiva?

Mostly a troubled kid, a fraudster aged 27, jobless (in every sense of the word), born in September 1982 to Prof.Rohan Samarajiva and Sujatha David Gamage, both of Lirneasia. His real name however is Indrajit Samarajiva. His grandparents are Gamage Don David and Gamage Dona Nandani of Kitulgoda.

He officially blogs at www.indi.ca , unofficially trolls at www.padashow.wordpress.com and hosts www.kottu.org

At 27, Indi Samarajiva is jobless. He calls himself a weekly columnist. Oh well.. He also pretends to be a freelance web designer (whatever that means). But no day job. Turns out the only proper desk job he had was at Dialog from January 2007 before getting kicked out in April 2009.

So what does Indi Samarajiva do for a living?

Nothing basically. He hosts Kottu and his sorry ass blog and gets paid for all anti Lankan sentiments on it. His recent behavior during presidential elections should stand testimony to this fact.

Indi Samarajiva's life gets funded by parties with vested interests. Kottu is part of it. Indi Samarajiva is a paid UNP Propagandist and a butt boy of UNP economy guru Harsha de Silva (of Lirneasia) who is a butt boy of Ranil. Oh.. this Ranil and his butt boys I tell ya !

What is Kottu?

A mediocre sorry ass blog aggregator at www.kottu.org. It was created on: 17-March-2005 and is currently hosted at stabletransit.com. The initial purchase consideration paid by Indi Samarajiva when acquiring kottu.org domain amounted to US Dollar 70 (USD 10 per annum x 7 years starting 2005 ending 2012).

What exactly is Srilankan blogosphere? Is it Kottu?

Indi Samarajiva dreams and claims he is the godfather of Srilankan blogosphere. Contrary to his day dreams Srilankan Blogosphere consists of 1- Achcharu 2- Maya Lanka 3- Sri Lanka Blog Spot 4- SL Blogs 5- Z Sri 6- Sri Lanka Blogs 7- Sinhala Bloggers 8- Kottu 9- Kanabona and many more blog syndicators. Kottu is only a part of it.

Do elaborate fraud. How did it happen?

By 2005, Indi Samarajiva had devised a foolproof means of enriching himself by starting a blog aggregator. As a first step he was able to persuade some Canadians to extend financial support.

Step two: Taking advantage of this blogosphere, Indi Samarajiva managed to portray himself as a social worker and volunteer, enabling him access to more funds. Donor contribution is made in the name of Kottu blogosphere and online media activism. Most of them are INGOs.

You can also see this link here where Indi Samarajiva actively seeks funding in his own official blog. This is the only time he admitted to seeking funds, but he’s been soliciting funds for many years now.

Indi Samarajiva’s profits now known

According to the documents Annual profits of Indi Samarajiva (on account of Kottu) were a staggering 5 Million rupees in 2009. Little wonder then this 27-year-old jobless assclown indulges in frequent trips.

Anyone with an iota of common sense would agree a jobless Johnnie couldn't have hosted Kottu let alone indulge in the kind of luxuries Indi Samarajiva, our donor-funded mogul indulges in.

Indi Samarajiva is guilty of first soliciting donations, then misappropriating donor funds, serving himself to monies donated for the running of Kottu to instead organize tamashas and divert donor funds to his and other personal bank accounts.

Salaries paid

It has been found that Indi Samarajiva accepted a salary to do humanitarian work while also claiming huge sums from many project funds towards personal expenses. Money was received from a global donor network. However Indi Samarajiva bypassing all norms and regulations governing basic human conscience had galloped with funds defeating the fundamental objectives by which any humanitarian volunteer is bound by law to function.

Stunning revelations in a Taprobane Uncut investigative report detail how Indi Samarajiva not only drew donor funds and deposited same in his personal bank accounts, but also claimed remuneration packages for work that is usually done on a voluntary basis, since it is humanitarian and for the benefit of the war victims. What a peacenik?

Additionally, Indi Samarajiva claimed expenditure for so-called blogger meetups and Open Mic sessions, but no details are available with regard to which blogger meet up.

Accountability of Indi Samarajiva

A donor, who declined to be named, said Indi Samarajiva should not only be held accountable, but taken to criminal court and given strict punishment. “There needs to be strict indicators (regulations) given after this so that Indi Samarajiva and his ilk do not rob peoples’ money,” he said. He also said that just as much as the politicians are corrupt, so is Indi Samarajiva.

Governance

A top legal source said that now it seems that Indi Samarajiva who had taken upon himself to be stalwarts of good governance seems speechless. There is substantial evidence that Indi Samarajiva is at fault. The next question is what does Indi Samarajiva have to say about this. He always complains about corruption in the public sector, now what?"

Proof and evading inquiry

When the investigations began to turn serious with evidence mounting against Indi Samarajiva, he evaded contacts by Taprobane Uncut on his mobile.

Indi Samarajiva had avoided all requests to present himself and explain his conduct.

Taprobane Uncut has evidence of an enormous fraud initiated by Indi Samarajiva in order to profit from the Srilankan blogosphere.

Indi Samarajiva and and his accomplice in the wine and dine cocktail blogger circles creamed off many millions over the years. Indi Samarajiva was not only misappropriating funds he was also knowingly hurting Sri Lankan bloggers; doubly ironic as Indi Samarajiva is of course a Srilankan blogger.

Millions of rupees unnecessarily spent and inevitably pocketed by Indi Samarajiva and his accomplices, some of whom will no doubt feel the necessity now to ass lick and defend Indi Samarajiva. Sure they have to be faithful for those cocktail parties?

Sanajan Hattotuwa of Ground views and Dinidu De Alwis of Perambara too fall into this criminal funded category.

The fraud is sufficiently gross, and The Taprobane Uncut calls on the Srilankan blogosphere to take action before more harm is done to Sri Lankan bloggers.

If you are a donor or sponsor of any kind, don't be mislead when Indi Samarajiva of Kottu approaches you with a funding proposal. It only goes to subsidize his moronic existence.

Please beware of Indi Samarajiva, and this cyber bully's dirty games camouflaged as social service. Avoid scams and fraud. For years the Srilankan blogsphere has been a catalyst for scammer Indi Samarajiva, who knows people will be digging into their pockets to help the blogosphere. If there's a chance at getting people's money, the crook will pounce on it like a shark sensing blood. Beware any deal involving Indi Samarajiva. Same is true of Sanjana Hattotuwa and Dinidu De Alwis. Don’t fund these minions.

Expose: Criminal cyber bully Indi Samarajiva is an LTTE terrorist

2010-03-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

Acting the court jester on the blogosphere is one thing. But lying, abusing and supporting LTTE terrorist is quite another. We all know that fibbing to most politicians is a qualification rather than a demerit. But Indi Samarajiva puts most politicians to shame even in this department.

In the backdrop of Indi Samarajiva’s continuous acts of violence and abuse on unsuspecting members of the public and blogosphere, it is fitting indeed to detail in this article how Indi Samarajiva in fact accumulated his misbegotten wealth. It is time Indi and his background are exposed at least for the public to take note.

Friends often ask me why I talk against Indi Samarajiva and tell me it is a matter of time before I am de listed off Kottu. Of course I know that: it is inevitable. But if we do not speak out now, there will be no one left to speak for those who cannot. As for me, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I walked tall and bowed to no man. Least not to an assclown scammer called Indi.

In this article, Taprobane Uncut detail Indi’s colorful background, both politically and personally, where if a push comes to a shove, there are witnesses aplenty to prove this article factual.

Indi’s ludicrous claims of a patriotic Sinhala Buddhist lineage hailing from Kitulgoda are all but a figment of his puerile imagination. Indi Samarajiva projects himself as great philanthropist, running the Kottusphere for free. But what is not known is that he is a terrorist, that Kottu is part of his propaganda machinery, funded by parties with vested interests.

The man would be a laugh if not that he is deadly. Closely associated with members of the LTTE, Indi Samarajiva is no joke.

Indi Samarajiva’s LTTE terrorist links

The height of Sri Lanka’s own civil war meant an opportunity for Indi Samarajiva, who admitted to have had close links with Nimmi Harasgama and her terrorist boyfriend Arjunan Ethiriveerasingham, director of the Tamil Rehabilitation Organization (TRO) which was the financial proxy of the LTTE, who was arrested by CID many times.

Source credit: Here

Being the coward he is, Indi Samarajiva deleted LTTE terrorist Arjunan's photos from his Flickr account here, but above screenshot is before deletion. Lucky Nimmi remains though. Google cache archives still remain if one were interested in digging Indi’s ugly past and terrorist links.

This was when Indi Samarajiva, Nimmi and LTTE terrorist Arjunan went on a jolly trip to Kandy. Can you deny this, Indi?

If you are puzzled at this very overt display of affection for the LTTE, Indi Samarajiva of course is a humanitarian who gets paid for so-called voluntary work. Oh…wait….Did I tell you Indi Samarajiva is an ardent believer in astrology, numerology, charms, and all things spiritual and unknown. He’s a great astrologer. He is the man who predicted SF would win presidential elections.

Having bared his buttocks for Ranil in the early 2000, Indi became a close cohort of the LTTE. He embraced the likes of Arjunan Ethiriveerasingham, and amassed a huge amount of wealth as a result of his links to an extent that he need not worry about a proper career at 27. Why do a day job like other folks when I can host a blog, and get paid for all the anti Lankan sentiments I express on it, no Indi?

Indi Samarajiva’s online life

Most bloggers may know him as the blogger at Indi.ca, But Indi Samarajiva’s moronic online existence started here , then moved here, before finally settling at indi.ca

Besides his official blog, Indi Samarajiva also runs the now unpopular Padashow blog , causing untold amount of hardships, harassments and embarrassments to innocent bloggers on the blogosphere. Many bloggers stand testimony to this simple fact.

Indi Samarajiva’s colorful past

Includes a police arrest for trying to enter the port with his Tamil terrorist friends, cyber bullying involving humiliating, cruel, demeaning and bigoted comments thinly disguised as jokes that were meant to diminish the self-worth of his innocent target, and more. He knowingly spread false rumors about many community members, publicly revealing a sexual liaison with a member without their consent, publishing private correspondence. (All of these can be found on Indi.ca blog itself. Just dig the archives at www.indi.ca)

Sad story…. And it is as a result of irresponsible parenting and improper upbringing that this country today is saddled with the breed that is Indi Samarajiva.

As a Buddhist, I am ashamed, and I wish Indi Samarajiva could follow the noble path of Buddha for there is no terrorist route to nirvana.

Thank you Srilankan blogosphere for 100 page view

2010-03-06T09:47:00.000-08:00

As of today, Taprobane Uncut hit the 100 page view mark! That means pages on the site have been read over 100 times (by about 46 visitors) daily.

Given that my site has been in existence for less than a year and has barely made it onto the radar of the search engines, I am thrilled by the level of interest that has been shown.

I want to offer a very sincere THANK YOU to the small but growing loyal readership of the site. Please continue to spread the word among your friends via email, Twitter, posting a link to the site on your Facebook page and all of the other creative ways you guys have found to quickly grow the readership.

I would love to connect with you on Twitter (@taprobaneuncut). And don’t forget to sign up yourself for the RSS feed subscription so you can stay up-to-date with new posts.

I cannot begin to tell you how inspiring it is to see a growing number of readers and subscribers each day and week.

One last thing: I would LOVE to hear some feedback from anyone who is visiting the site.

I am more than convinced that our village idiot Indi Samarajiva is a troubled soul. Hence some lovely dedications to him. Oh.. Wait, he’s now on a vegetarian diet. Wonder what happened to his animal instinct? Election defeats, things they do to a hyperactive young man i tell ya! Interesting!

Thanks again & I look forward to celebrating many more milestones with you along the way!

Have Sex people. Lose Virginity!

2010-03-04T05:22:00.000-08:00

Well for starters, I am opinionated, so don't blame me after reading this blog post.

All religions in Srilanka appear to have a virginity fetish. "Wait until marriage" is The Rule. Even the expression "losing my virginity" connotes a loss to be mourned, instead of an experience to cherish.

But Virginity is complete fucking bullshit, and I'm tired of it.

This one girl at my office constantly bitches about traveling alone on duty. She also, get this: refuses to go outstation because she’s a virgin. Seriously, today she was like: yeah I'm a virgin, no? How can I go alone? Yes, mother mary, why did you come to work here? You are a virgin, no?

In our hyper-conservative, ultra-backward society, unwed non-virgins are perhaps the only sexual sub-culture left with the power to shock us.

An unwed non-virgin? Are you serious? We simply expect to encounter well-dressed, celibate women, and it seems that they do exist.

Sex is a taboo. When aroused, have a bit of a snog, a bit of a cuddle, but not for too long. Don’t have urges coz one day, it will all need to be unlocked for the right person (chosen by parents), and what a wonderful day that will be.

It's very much a personal choice and I would never condemn anyone for choosing to be celibate.

We expect our teens to be zealots or introverted teenage virgins who have made pledges of lifelong abstinence without really knowing what it means. How cruel?

But I am part of the new generation of twenty something men who hope to reinvent our long-held notions of virginity in Srilanka.

This insistence on 'saving yourself' is bit old-fashioned, a tad retrograde. After all, there are plenty of young women who actively enjoy a series of physical relationships before marriage without feeling devalued by them. At least I know all three of my Ex-girlfriends slept with me, many times!

Boys are expected to be sexual, and to start sowing their "wild oats" as soon as they can. Whether or not the male wants to be sexually active is irrelevant; he is expected to get laid. A girl who seeks sexual experiences early, on the other hand, is often regarded as "loose" or "fast". She soon receives the label "slut", whether she has earned it or not. Why this hypocrisy?

Virginity, according to the Srilankan ideal, is a "sacred" gift that should only be given to one's husband or wife in a marriage. In order to remain "pure", you must repress your natural sexuality and avoid intense physical contact (no more than a light kiss dahlings) with your lover even if you value that person as highly as you value yourself.

But, true love should be expressed, not only with words but also with physical action, no? I know I know some of you have come to the conclusion that this Taprobane Uncut is a sex maniac.

Sex is a necessary and proper expression of lovers feeling for one another, and sex is to love what action is to thought, possession to evaluation, body to soul.

To claim that sex has nothing to do with love is to claim that one must choose between lust and love, between the body and the mind. But a choice between mind and body is a false one.

Religions treat sex as a necessary evil, just as it treats love as a duty. Objectivism, on the other hand, treats sex as a celebration of one's existence and love as a tribute given to whose virtues one admires.

I guess what I wanted to say was, get laid early for life is short !

Uncopyright – Steal my content peeps!

2010-03-04T00:04:00.000-08:00

I don’t talk about Sue She over here at Taprobane Uncut, Standards people! Standards!

Sure mine is a controversial blog by default, and I can guarantee you its by choice. But little did I know someone would be inspired by my humble little blog and ask me for permission to re publish. Wow.. Aren’t we humble here?

I actually thought of franchising (I think licensing is the correct word) my blog content and earn a few billions of dollars, but decided to give it all free...

So here it is..

I’m granting full permission to use any of my content on Taprobane Uncut, in any way you like.

I release my copyright on this content.

This post is an official notification that my writing here at Taprobane Uncut is now in the public domain. I hereby waive all claim of copyright in this work; it may be used or altered in any manner without attribution or notice to me. Attribution, of course, is appreciated, though not mandatory.

From now on, there is no need to ask me for permission. Use it however you want! Email it, share it, reprint it with or without credit. Change it around, put in a bunch of swear words and attribute them to me. It’s OK peeps, all yours!

Taprobane dude, you are f**king crazy, why are you doing this?

Well…I’m not a big fan of copyright laws anyway. I’ve seen many blogs with legal notices to readers, especially on the Srilankan blogosphere, and that’s just bloody hilarious to say the least. Why are people so possessive of their obscure content and amateur photos anyway? I am not impressed.

So I’m trying this experiment to see whether releasing copyright really hurts the creator of the content.

The lack of copyright, and blatant copying by other artists and even businesses, never hurt Leonardo da Vinci when it comes to images such as the Mona Lisa, or the Last Supper.

It never hurt Shakespeare. I doubt that it’s ever really hurt any artist (although I might just be ignorant here).

Imagine Jesus Christ wanted to have copyrights to the holy Bible…Its just insane, no? The idea of Christianity would never have caught on if Jesus wanted to keep it to himself. The same can be said of Buddha and others who wanted their beautiful ideas spread.

My point is great people aren’t worried about copyrights, its for the minions who worry about their little pennies.

And while I’m no Da Vinci or Shakespeare or Jesus, I can’t help but wonder whether copyright hurts me or helps me as a blogger. If someone feels like sharing my content on their blog, I don’t see how that hurts me. My work is being spread to many more people than I could do myself. That’s a plus, as I see it.

No No Taprobane Uncut, you should copyright and protect content…

Err… OK.. But this kind of thinking stems from a mind that wants to control creative freedom, and it’s not a good thing. What if someone takes my work and turns it into something brilliant? Or more likely, what if they take the work and extend the concepts and make it even more useful, to even more people?

Release control, and see what happens. People are wonderful, creative creatures. Let’s see what they can do. For instance Indi Samarajiva can steal my content, publish it on a leading yellow tabloid as part of his self-promotion exercise.

Am I making other bloggers look bad?

Perhaps, if you want to see things in a negative light. But I’m not doing this as a challenge to other bloggers, or as a comment on their policies. I’m doing it simply to stay in line with my values. And who knows? Maybe others will be inspired by this in some way. Or maybe they won’t. Either way, please don’t judge others based on what I do.

See I did it… and will see who likes to follow suit?

Barefoot garden cafe – its love at first bite

2010-03-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

Saturday afternoon in Colombo, all alone at my place. I’m supposed to meet a friend in three hours, time enough, I think for a good meal.

People in SriLanka will tell you that Colombo is now the capital of crappy food because of the number of mediocre restaurants that have mushroomed. After a slightly disastrous experience at other restaurants (why would anybody want to eat there?), I end up at the barefoot café after a lapse of two or three years. I was sick of others so I thought I’d give barefoot a shot.

The garden cafe looks great and staff ratios match so there is a noticeable personalized service, a rare thing in any Colombo restaurant I must admit.

It astonishes me that though this is among Colombo’s trendiest places and that it can be hell to get a table, the staff are uniformly friendly and unaffected and treat every guest like a VIP – so different from Colombo restaurants where it matters who you are.

It’s not that they know me or anything. This is just how a very good restaurant takes responsibility for guests. The meal is terrific. Service is cheerful and the place buzzes with life.

The prices are more reasonable, but I think that it is okay value for good food. It’s not the kind of food you’ll find in Colombo but it works because the chef is such a master of flavors.

It’s the sort of café you want to go back to again and again, and it’s a great experience.

I’m just glad that I ate their food, and the place is a little arty farty. If my facts are right this place is owned by Dominic Sansoni, that chap with a PhD in photography copyrights. (Pun intended)

Now, I’m no “photo me photo me” person, nor do I like Sansoni’s copyright fuss. Its plain stupid for all art is for sharing. I believe Art when shared is beautiful. But anyways….

Just taste the meals, which they make fresh. Most of it spiced with densely knit layers of flavor. You might find yourself chewing carefully and staring up into space, trying to figure out what exactly that flavor is, and what that other flavor is.

Behind this blog is a teetotaler; hence I don’t talk of any alcohol and tobacco products there. And I won’t even tell you what I ate there coz my preferences can be weird and unacceptable to most people. I am vegan if you must know, but I did find my comfortable alternatives there.

Barefoot cafe is not fussy. It's not eager to please. It's not the kind of place where the waitress constantly bugs you. I like it this way coz there's privacy.

For any Colombite interested in fine foods, there's a place to remember. It's Barefoot. While I don’t believe that Barefoot is flat for most people, it’s true that some of us, Colombites can afford this, at least once in a while.

There’s elegance in every bite, there’s love. Indulge!

Disclaimer: Taprobane Uncut blogger has no links, affiliations to Barefoot. This blog post is not commercial publicity, rather sincere appreciation and endorsement of a satisfied customer who paid his own bill and yet to see his credit card statement.

Urgently Wanted: A life for Indi Samarajiva

2010-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

Indi Samarajiva, the journo wannabe says on it’s yellow column this week:

I tell Indians that I’m a journalist. To my surprise, they react well. But why am I surprised? Because for years the reaction to that word has been ‘oh, you’re going to die.’ From out here I realize that this isn’t normal at all.

And then he goes on to rant about the sacrifices journalists make implying he too makes sacrifices because he is a journo!

How fucking duh can someone get? You really are a complete Padashow, no? Of course Journalism is sacrifice, you insipid fool.

You are a sad guy, Indi. What makes you think you are a journo just because you copy paste and fill your column quota of 300 words for the leader in yellow journalism every week?

Can we at least know if you are a member of the press council, institute of journalism etc? What is your credentials Sir? Journo it seems. My foot!   

You should feel uncomfortable even calling yourself one, given your limited experience. You haven’t studied journalism nor are you learning everyday, in the job.

We also know you pretended to be a writer at the Galle Literary festival in 2009. People can see the link here. As for me a writer is a published author, and I’m yet to read this holy book supposedly written by venerable Indi Samarajiva.

So your claims and pretence have no basis but you are pretending to be something or someone that you are not. Also, it appears that you use Internet space to spread bias and prejudice against people you do not know or understand.

I’m pretty sure all you do is shake your dick all day and night compiling a sorry ass blog to fulfill your pathetic dreams of ‘achievement’ on the internet.

Padashow, You silly little blogger.. You spend so much time on that blog you have become what you mock... a pathetic soul. I reckon you should get a life, just try and get out more or are you such a fat shit that you’re too scared to move too far from the fridge?  

There is Sitting nuts, a much credible blogger, but we all know you attack him through another blog. You do not even try to engage him in constructive and meaningful conversation – instead, you prefer to stereotype and rail against him instead. To your own detriment, I might add. Not cool.

What kind of boorish freak does that anyway? Coz the only thing that we now understand about you is that your words have no substance, and all we catch is that whiff of a bad smell….and then its gone, You, Padashow!

And really, I don’t know how many people out here give a toss about this journo and writer wannabe. You think you’re fucking celeb material? Oh my god! That’s Indi Samarajiva! Can I have your autograph kind Sir? It’s for my dying grandmother.

In a loser joint like Kottu I guess even someone like you could pass off for a celeb.  Jeeez... dude, you really need to get a life. A real one.

I was told you might de-list me for writing this, and Yeah I’ve been seriously warned…. OOOOOHHHHHH. Still… GO FUCK YOURSELF. I REPEAT… GO FUCK YOURSELF. Yeah and there was no hostility of course!

Ranil Wickramasinghe – Disce Aut Discede

2010-02-24T01:12:00.000-08:00

School where our fathers, Learnt the way before us Learnt of Books and Learnt of Men Through thee we'll do the same True to our watchword "Disce Aut Discede" We will learn of books and men and learn to play the game.

For every Royalist, there’s one simple motto, Disce Aut Discede - Learn or Depart.

I am a proud Royalist, and all what I am now is due to the education I received there. Its been a fulfilling and life changing experience, and its one that I am extremely proud of. One that I don’t mind flaunting to say the least. It taught me life. I am overwhelmed. I couldn't have asked for more.

That being said, there’s one thing about Royal that I am not proud to be associated with, Ranil. There’s nothing Royal about him. In fact he’s a right royal loser. And while throughout history the vast majority have learnt and departed bringing credit to the college, this Batalanda Assclown is hell bent on proving it otherwise.

I don’t think Ranil believes in the concept of Succession Planning, not in personal life, not in political life. Which is why he has no children, or a successor for the party he claims he loves.

I am of the belief that every human should leave a legacy, and to leave a legacy, one must plant a tree, write a book, and have a son. Only then, can your life be complete.

I am sure Ranil has planted many banana trees everywhere, but not the other. This is the problem with this Assclown man. He’s got no legacy let alone a vision for the country.

Yesterday I was playing chess with my cousin who apparently is a Thomian, and I lost the game. OK everyone’s a loser sometimes, and its human to lose, and i didn't mind that.

“No wonder you went to Ranil’s school”

said my cousin in his moment of glory, but much to my embarrassment. I know what he meant. I think he implied I was a loser… and a pathetic one at that because i had lost previously too, sometimes in consecutive sessions.

Ranil should go back to school. Learn or Depart.

Mr.Batalanda, please do us a favor, Disce Aut Discede.

Lets sell some guns. Shall we?

2010-02-21T08:08:00.000-08:00

Oh yes! We can get away with illegal arms dealings, all in the name of war of course! Ouch.. I was mistaken, daaanoooonaaaah !

All what we heard was the word WAR… Talk of oral diarrhea! We have an oral diarrhea epidemic in Srilanka…early morning until late night even if we don’t put on our radio or television for fear of listening to wannabe parliamentarians…and politicians, we can’t escape the neighbors radio which is turned on to the highest decibel…while these all knowing creatures talk their skins off! I don’t want to say…heads because I am not sure if anyone has one anymore. At least this troubled soul doesn’t have.. I know that for sure.

The squabble that’s going on about elections…just shows how many people want to be living by the river that is Diyawanna. For what though?

Its naïve to believe that election promises are cast in iron…election promises or most of them are made to win votes… JVP, UNP and all the P’s should know this!

It is insane or maybe …it’s the new strain of swine flu that attacks people’s brains, to the extent they can’t figure this out? So many people are infected…help!

I am all blue from top to toes, and I voted Mahinda, a decision that I don’t and will never regret. And I also believe people voted for what they believed in…irrespective of what that pathetic unsuccessful candidate and some of his assclown propagandists may think and say now.

I know of at least 10 people who told me they voted for SF because he is…ooh so good-looking and physique. Is he, aney? Oooh la la laaa.. Never saw his million-dollar “Bundy”?

I know of people who decided not to vote for Mahinda because he was not as physique. I know of people who laughed at him and people who mocked at him. I also know of people who mock him even now.

It looks like you and I still need more lessons in the way UNP politicians think, act and shout. But I know what all UNP politicians can do, why don’t they write fiction? Then perhaps we can hit upon a best seller, no?

We have more important things to attend to. For instance all the illegal foreigners have to be sent; because Srilanka has become too intolerable. All the so-called humanitarian NGO bastards should be sent back home. Who needs their so-called humanitarian assistance when in reality all what they do is create chaos for us?

The locals can't go anywhere because everything has been taken over…we have become a good accommodating place for European jokers who call themselves Journalists and NGO workers. These morons are refugees in our paradise…what else can you call… foreigners who are jobless and hanging about doing nothing here? I still don’t understand what really brings them here? Is it the tan skinned exotic women? You like f**king dark? Please go screw a crow…

Heroism is hard …what is it anyway? Does it just mean doing illegal arms business while leading the war? Yes, Assclown Ponseka has failed miserably. -Zero marks to him.

Danuna Tilekaratne is a student who could afford a Hummer in the US? Oh.. Please.. Give me a break will ya, Danuna, the arms dealer son in law of assclown Ponseka. Shame on you.

Mahinda Rajapakshe has got the mandate for another 7 years, and I believe for all the right reasons. But he also needs a parliament that is conducive for him. So lets give him that for he deserves that.

Even now late as it is I hope the responsible people will get up and say enough is enough and try to do something for this country instead of trying for a place in the political arena for a debate which leads to nowhere.

All what I want to say is, VOTE UPFA. Help strengthen Mahinda's Parliament and support Mahinda.. I am going to vote UPFA, how about you, self righteous cyber peeps of Colombo?

Lankanosphere Super loser Super bonus Award for Rhythmic Diaspora

2010-02-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

A wise man once said “Awards Are Not Important In Life, What’s Important Is The Smile On People’s Faces When They Realize That They Get Free Stickers With Every Packet Of Biscuits They Buy”.

The point is if somebody wants to give you an award and is willing to throw a huge party in a five star hotel, invite the media, have eminent journalists editorialize your awesomeness in magazines, have people give you standing ovations, hand bursting claps and whistles.

It’s an annual ritual in my moronic existence. The New Year is just like the old year except that it’s called the New Year and it’s made up of a different set of numbers as compared to the old year. In order to tell the world that I can accept a New Year I do a year-end special like TV channels. My year-end special is a blog AWARDS SHOW where I invite award winners to my grandfather’s cow shed and distribute awards.

Why do people not give me awards? It’s a conspiracy that needs to be investigated at the highest level because I don’t like being ignored. Lankanosphere Awards or as I like to call it: RD’s annual exercise in kissing asses of Srilankan Bloggers. Now I’m okay with anyone kissing anyone else’s ass as long as they kiss mine also.

How does one get into this wild Oscar thingy? Oh.. Its super simple peeps.

Rhythmic Diaspora aka RD aka LLD has been nominated in two categories:

1. Most Humorous Lankanosphere blog.
2. Best Personal Lankanosphere blog.

I know what you’re thinking. The nominations are in the wrong categories. Sigh..

Till today he has never said even one funny thing, so how can his bog be nominated for ‘Most Humorous Lankanosphere blog’? It would have been right if LLD Blog were nominated in the ‘MOST TUMOROUS BLOG’ category considering the fact that there are documented cases of people receiving tumors after reading this drummer blogger’s complex thoughts.

But the second nomination in ‘Best Personal Lankanosphere blog’ is justified because of his super sexy awesome personality, and the loser stories he manages to come up with. This post divorce life by the river that is Thames is to be shared with all humankind under a pseudonym you see. I am yet to meet this soul, but this is my conclusion based on the LLD bog. Yes, BOG.

But he would have preferred to be nominated in ‘BEST Lankanosphere food blog’ because he claims to eat a lot of food. Also his recipes to create fame (for himself that is) are world renowned and highly acclaimed.

I could simply nominate and win every award in every category. But then again Democracy – I believe in it. What’s in a name you may ask? But all’s fair in this blogosphere. And while you may be right in saying this loser is exploiting a name that was supposedly generic, as generic as “Lankanosphere” or Srilankan Blogosphere, there’s no cocoon on the blogosphere raising any concerns about it. So much for democracy? So here I am, able to capitalize on others’ ignorance if not stupidity. But usually both.

So if you want the drummer to win, vote for The LLD at the Lankanosphere awards for THE SUPER LOSER category.

Now here are the rules:

I intend to finish this award show in 15 minutes flat so there will be no announcement of the nominees for each category, no background music, and no award music.

No laughing, no hysterical bouts of crying, no biting nails, no looking into the camera. Just sit there and shut up.

I don’t need to hear your lame ass acceptance speeches so just take your award and get lost. If you want to say something keep it short and no more than 30 seconds.

The audience is not allowed to clap or sneeze, that might disturb my grandpa’s cows.

All decisions are made by the judging committee comprising of me, myself and I, and are final.

Also, there will be no entertainment tonight, which means you will not get to see a choreographed dance performed by a drummer after each award.

So here’s the award for RD.

Plus the grand bonus award of One year’s supply of depression pills till the next Lankanosphere awards, and some useful helpline numbers in case of emergency. You may find this link helpful.

Get well soon. We shall pray for only God can cure some peculiar illnesses. Besides we like to see sanity prevail on the blogosphere, RD !

Fonny's Folly !

2010-02-10T02:37:00.000-08:00

Just too many, apparently!

Anyways, I think our Kalaveddah hero should be treated with dignity, no matter what. OK, he’s traitor, that’s fine. Everyone is, all of us are, at one point or the other. But we’re all humans, and that means respect for the enemy.

I do agree with his arrest, in fact I feel he should’ve been arrested long ago for his silly “white flag” stories. I also advocate life imprisonment for this traitor, or even more, as per the law and constitution of our country, but all with DIGNITY.

I ridicule traitors and NGO cocoons on this blog, I say bizarre things, and I do know my Ammi is not going to be happy reading my blog, but I still advocate “dignified treatment” for everyone, it doesn’t matter if its SF or an NGO paid nonsensical idiot like Indi Samarajiva, that I think is the beauty of democracy.

I don’t believe any stories by anyone, I don’t trust them when they say he was hand cuffed, punched on his face and dragged away. I don’t think so. It’s fucking unlikely. Our guys are not that bad, they are a disciplined lot. Yes there may have been some verbal abuse in the heat of things, but I don’t think there was any physical violence on him as DBS Jeyaraj and some other loony bloggers have suggested. They all come from their loony bins.

Fonny’ follies are just so many, conspiracies, coup attempts, arms deals, treason are, but a few. He never was a hero, he never can be, and he never will be. The SF I know is an arrogant psychopath obsessed with violence, and he is best kept in a cell, tamed, powers stripped, but not clothes stripped. He should be stripped of his power, ego, arrogance, stupidity, and violence. Not his clothes.

In some ways i feel sorry for SF for he was a soldier, and a brave one at that. So deep within i'd still have a soft corner, and i may even want to salute, But its tragic. Its irony. Sorry Fonny, you deserved what you are going through, but rest assured our president will treat you with respect unlike the things you wanted to do if and when you came to power.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.” – Lord Buddha

Perambara’s and Dinidu De Alwis’s false propaganda against Sri Lanka continues

2010-02-09T01:52:00.000-08:00

While BBC’s headline reads “Srilanka’s election loser Sarath Fonseka arrested” Which I think is very apt for this defeated candidate, Perambara, run by a NGO paid crooked ass named Dinidu De Alwis continues to call this loser Fonseka, “Presidential Candidate”

If my memory serves right, elections were held on 26th Jan, and I’m not aware of another presidential election in the foreseeable future in which loser fonseka continues to be a “presidential candidate”. These presidential hopefuls, i tell ya !

http://www.flickr.com/photos/perambara/4342383405/in/photostream/

Above screen shot reads “SRI LANKA, Colombo, February 09 - Anoma Fonseka, the wife of arrested presidential candidate Sarath Fonseka speaks to the media at her house in Colombo. (Amantha Perera/Perambara) “

WTF?

Sarath Fonseka, Presidential Candidate on February 09, 2010?

Oh.. Really? Adey..Dinidu, you are not kidding me, are you?

I don’t think Dinidu De Alwis is fooling anyone except himself and his white NGO masters. Click above link and see their photo stream on Flickr, where they continue to live their presidential fantasy. Insanity is epidemic among the cocoon NGO community of Colombo.

Kudos to BBC for the apt title, Election Loser!

My Dearest Dinidu De Alwis,

We, the normal folks of Srilanka (actually 58% of us) have simply had enough of you and your ilk. You accuse us of human rights violation, of war crimes, of media intimidation, and what not? Irony is, your claims still remain claims. You could never prove anything.

Your imaginary comments on your little Flickr stream is none of my concern, but you are a liar, and a professional one at that. So, here we are, I’ve decided to draw the line. See, get your facts correct dude, or screw your little Perambara thingy where people like you who are filled with rage, who are paid by NGOs, who are not contributing in any way, but are just shouting for the sake of being a dick.

You need to take responsibility for your words and the claims, links and pointers you share. I am not saying don’t continue to live your fantasy, but I am saying to think before you post, and to get your facts correct. And the fact is a simple one, none, and I repeat none, as of today (09-02-2010) is a presidential candidate, There is however, a people’s president, one that was voted by an overwhelming majority and a defeated soul, one that is grappling with this simple reality.

I don’t think dicks like you are needed or welcome in any civilized society let alone Sri Lanka. Sorry, but am not convinced a decent society can accept an idiot like you.. Ouch.. it hurt, no?

So from now on, I won’t take you serious, not that I took you any serious in the past, but you know what I mean, a liar and a psychopath obsessed with anti Srilankan sentiments should be either in Jail or a mental hospital.

I appreciate and thank you for maintaining your little Perambara bog, and showing me that you do value your so-called commitment, and I thank you for caring. I really do.

But on a more serious note, I recommend that you seek professional help, that you go see a good doctor. One that will help you get through your tough time, and I’m sure with some medication, therapy, and some whale watching like your friend in crime, Indi Samarajiva does, you will hopefully come out of the state of eternal falsehood you’re in.
You need to come out of this as a strong human being. Trust me, seeking help when you need it the most, is not a bad thing.

What you need is a life, a real one. And some principles, not your illusions. I’d like to think that most people, when reminded, can be remarkable and amazing. Everyone deserves a second chance in life. So I am still embracing you with love.

Mr.Dinidu De Alwis, about time we accepted reality, no?

Loser!

Perambara, you suck!

Oh.. Yeah.. Thank you, for the continued entertainment.

Investigative blogging by Taprobane Uncut

2010-02-05T02:06:00.000-08:00

This is the latest initiative by Taprobane Uncut. Let me explain a bit, this is much like Investigative Journalism, a concept based on facts, research, evidence and reasoning rather than guesswork and slanderous articles. And while investigative journalism is traditional in most respects, Investigative Blogging is the Web 2.0 hipster version of it. Simply put, its investigative journalism through blogging.

Fair to say my inspiration was investigative journalist Christiane Amanpour. Investigative blogging is a concept introduced by Taprobane Uncut to the Srilankan Blogosphere, alas, a familiar concept overseas. TU will expose the bad and the ugly with evidence and unquestionable credibility.

It has become fashionable to talk of media freedom and the government corruption while in fact it is those NGO paid traitors who are engaged in such activities. So much for media freedom and governance and accountability?

For instance Sanjana Hattotuwa’s Gripe views Yellow Citizen Journalism initiative censored all my comments directly questioning his hypocrisy. Then there are other smaller minions who plague the Srilankan blogosphere with their biased views, thus leaving the reader and the general masses in a state of confusion.

Indi Samarajiva may well be considering de listing this blog from Kottu by now, but heck, he’s free to do that if he so wishes. This, in case I am banned from Kottu for my Investigative Blogging. Let’s see how this media freedom advocate treats this blog in the future.

Let me conclude this prelude to what I intend doing. Real Investigative Blogging will start from next week.

Kottu Peeps - Follow me on Twitter

2010-02-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

New to this Twitter thingy. Just started my new account at www.twitter.com/taprobaneuncut.

Appreciate if you guys would follow me. I may tweet some bizarre stuff. You never know.

If you have protected your tweets, then kindly refrain from following me. I don't want to know what happens in your miserable life, i already have enough on my plate.

You can follow me here.

Mine is a totally Pro Srilankan blog, and so will be my Twitter, just in case you are wondering what i will tweet about.

Thanks peeps. Means much !

Freedom in words

2010-02-04T00:25:00.000-08:00

I normally don’t repost material from other sites on my blog, but am going to make an exception today, mostly because I can’t really put my thoughts on Independence Day. So instead, I’ll give you some quotes I found interesting.

** Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. ~Thomas Paine   

** This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. ~Elmer Davis   
 ** Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

** In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt   

** That which distinguishes this day from all others is that then both orators and artillerymen shoot blank cartridges. ~John Burroughs

** Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better. ~Albert Camus  

** It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. ~Author unknown

** If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace. ~Hamilton Fish  

** Where liberty dwells, there is my country. ~Benjamin Franklin 

** Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. ~George Bernard Shaw

** We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. ~William Faulkner 

** Freedom is never free. ~Author Unknown

And lastly, here’s mine Kottu Peeps.

Independence, every February 4, not with a parade in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Kiribath and Katta sambol, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. – Taprobane Uncut

NB: How many readers can actually sing the national anthem?
Shame on you if you can't, but here's some inspiration on this video clip.

Whale watching is soul soothing – Says Indi Samarajiva

2010-02-02T23:02:00.000-08:00

What does one do when one is confronted with a miserable defeat and feeling suicidal? I know a lot of you folks will get drunk, some will even turn violent.

But, being the NGO paid peacenik that I am, I chose the peaceful way of meditation and whale watching. Now, meditation needs no intro, but whale watching? Indi, you mean whale watching?

Oh yeah. Whale watching is soul soothing. That’s ancient wisdom you see. Fishing in the deep blue ocean helps in times of my desperation. What a loser I am. I’ve been daydreaming and beating my lazy ass over SF’s victory.

Go fly a kite (on the beach that is), go fish, go whale watching. Endless possiblities, apparently !

Can you see I’ve managed to come up with alternative uses (for the beach that is) whilst staying true to my beach boy image?

Oh.. Whale.. here I come…

Important: Indi Samarajiva guided whale-watching meditation retreats are currently open for a privileged few. You may contact Indi Samarajiva directly. No pun intended. Honest! He’s seriously good at whale watching.

Troubled souls get a bonus offer. You can meet the man, take a close look at him and tell yourself “OK, mine is not this severe. Thank God I am not Indi. I always considered myself a loser, until I met Indi Samarajiva”

Paikiasothy Saravanamuttu’s trademark fashion blunders

2010-02-02T04:48:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of Paikiasothy Saravanamuttu, your regular NGO guy about town with a stylish Victorian accent and an astute sense of fashion?

Pakiasothy is apparently a fashionista, one that knows even men can show off their chests like women. Pakiasothy knows it doesn’t take a booby thingy to have a sexy chest.

I fail to understand how this freakshow has managed to get his own talk show on his own camera. I expect to find the answer sometime this millennium. But everyone should watch this freaking interview. It’s awesome.

Disclaimer: Pakiasothy’s interviews cause short-term memory loss. This program is no exception to the rule.

End of polling day update from CMEV from Centre for Policy Alternatives on Vimeo.

Important : Admire his chest. Fall in love. Its seductive. Ain’t it?

Source Credit : Here

But because of this interview I have gained crucial insights into the mind of Pakiasothy and how he has been coached into giving long winding answers that never lead anywhere, especially on politics.

Observe:

Hired interviewer: What is this accent you have?

Pakiasothy: Its called Victorian, common among Ivy League educated NGO Jackasses like myself.

Hired Interviewer: When you decided to support terrorists, what about them impressed you the most?

Pakiasothy: The fact that it offered potential, and I could build my NGO empire around it. That was a good proposition, quite viable too, sadly till May 18th 2009.

Hired Interviewer: How does it feel to be defeated and dreams shattered?

Pakiasothy: It feels (F WORD) awesome! Jackass.

Hired interviewer: Are you sweating?

Pakiasothy: No. I live in an A/Cd house, travel in an A/Cd vehicle, and work in an A/Cd office. Thanks to our NGO sponsors, we never had to sweat.

Hired interviewer: Do you have a skin disease? Did you consult a dermatologist?

Pakiasothy: No. Actually my skin is pretty thick when confronted with reality, but smooth as silk when we want to talk about NGO ideologies.

Hired interviewer: How about a cardiologist then? Are you prone to cardiac arrests? Does your chest require natural ventilation all the time? Why do you always show your chest to others? What’s the secret? Is there any?

Pakiasothy: It’s my trademark open chest style you see. Helps reinforce the fact that I’m a sexy beast. Can you see, It’s (F word) awesome? My chest. I take a lot of pride in showing it off. It’s one of the most celebrated chests of our times you know… Do you like my chest? It’s awesome, isn’t it?

Hired Interviewer: You mean it’s your asset?

Pakiasothy: there you are… I like showing off my chest. That’s my fashion.

Hired Interviewer: Isn’t that indecent behavior in SL? Aren’t we supposed to dress appropriately? All your shirts have buttons, no?

Pakiasothy: ????? ##### ???????

NB : This is just Parody. Pun intended, disrespect not. I too love the way this man shows off his chest !

Kindi that is Indi – Indi Samarajiva confesses.

2010-02-01T09:15:00.000-08:00

I am Indi Samarajiva aka Indrajit Samarajiva aka Indi, Jit to thatha and Jito to my nangi subu.

I’m shameless. I’m a 27-year-old wannabe politician who will eventually be recovering from a severe addiction to politics. I love Ranil, his family and friends, his dick NGOs, and the popsicles they give me. I love the west. I like my government small. No jumbo cabinet please. I am accountable to my God, not my government. “Stimulating” the democracy with mahinda monopoly is stupid. I loathe Mahinda.

On a more serious note, I’m a former staffer of Dialog Telecom who got kicked out due to my big mouth. Since I’m a masochist, I ended up talking politics on my blog. I was a cognitive science major who really never wanted anything to do with cognition, and now I write (for a leader in yellow journalism). And do blog. And a whole bunch of activism, like fishing in Mirissa and eating crabs in Jaffna.

I’m the sole proprietor of www.indi.ca and the host of Kottu. I am also the Director of Internet Relations and New Media for SF Politics and the Director of Kottu Communication for Ranil’s loser show.

My day job is (wannabe) Internet Media Coordinator for Ranil, and it basically rocks my world.

My life is awesome.

Why I Write?

I write commentary. I am not a reporter. I say what I think, and feel. I have my senses you know.. I am not writing to please you or anyone else. I am not writing because I have all the answers to God and Government and have it figured out. I am developing views constantly politically and spiritually. Growth is healthy.

I can say with some certainty that God is not a MR or a SF. I know that Sitting nuts begs to differ. And I’m not gonna lie, this still makes me giggle.

I am a Buddhist, one that believes the Buddha and knows that he answers not to God – not his government. I know not all of you are. That’s your choice, and I will never look down on anyone for that. But that’s where my perspective is – take it or leave it.

I will hesitantly admit that I understand Sri Lanka on one level. I admit, it’s pretty convincing. However, as I see it, there is one major difference: Canada is heaven. Buddha was socialist, but God was not. He (God) gives to each according to what they can handle. God is not concerned with “equality”. And it is Indilical (like biblical) to give, to take care of others. Because I am Indi and it is Indilical to care, I care, much more than you ever can imagine you know.

But Indiology (Indi plus ideology that is) doesn’t work because Srilanka is imperfect. People cannot handle a system like that. We take advantage of it, and it is not a sustainable solution to the problems we are facing. To sum it up:

This is what I believe to be true: God wants us accountable to HIM, not the government. God doesn’t want us to beg for a king. He sets up government so we don’t destroy each other, so there is a basic order to things, but we are not to fully rely on our leaders, because they, at some point, will fail us. They are human, it’s their nature – I don’t care if they are MRs or SFs.

My motivation in politics is to minimize the conflict between God’s law and man’s law. From what I can figure, that can’t happen when the government thinks it’s running the show. THAT is why I don’t see Buddha being a liberal, and why I am a liberal. It has nothing to do with me being an evil person, with me thinking it’s okay for us to ignore those who are less fortunate. I love ignorant people and mahinda people and polar bears and beluga whales and all those other things that Weerawansa tells us we hate. I’m simply coming from the perspective that you cannot allow that responsibility to be placed in government hands. They screw things up. They do not have your best interests at heart – they have theirs. God is the one with your best interests at heart. Period.

Simply put, I’m asking for a government that doesn’t compete with God. They will ALWAYS lose. – Indiology 2010.

NB : Indi Samarajiva is on a spiritual (meditation) mode having gone through a miserable defeat. Indiology will continue. Await part two of “Kindi that is Indi” parody series.

Halik Azeez says Srilankans and Mahinda supporters are ignorant. WTF?

2010-02-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

There are kids, and then there are smart kids, those intelligent pseudo elite types.

While push bicycles are a mode of transport for most Srilankans, Halik Azeez finds it a usual tool to cruise (and paddle) his lazy ass along the streets of Balapitiya. That’s all good end of the day. It keeps me fit.

And so go Halik and his gangsta on a trip down south. They chose to bike it. Like biking it you know.. Here’s the trouble though. Halik Azeez is no ordinary Srilankan. He is not ignorant. He is a pseudo elite NGO man. As per him, 58% of Srilankans who voted His Excellency Mahinda Rajapaksa are ignorant masses. How ignorant?

Halik Azeez’s logic sucks. This kid has no idea what it means to have 58% of people on your side. At one level i can understand where he is coming from. He is a muslim, and majority of the muslims voted against His Excellency Mahinda Rajapaksa. So Halik Azeez'z theory that others (actually 58% of them) who voted his excellency are ignorant is perhaps justified. But his flawed theory is plain stupid.

Halik Azeez, be where you are, the sad 42%. Don’t need minions and traitors poison the 58%. We are a holy lot. Stay where you are, in hell and ignorance you dumb loser.

Disclaimer - Blogger is a named person and his name is revealed on his blog and Twitter (linked to blog) as Abdul Halik Azeez aka Whacko. As such i am using his name.

Ajith Copy & Paste Perera is missing

2010-02-01T07:40:00.000-08:00

Kottu’s resident plagiarism guru Ajith copy & paste Perera whose copy paste skills need no introduction is tipped to be on a vacation, apparently recovering from the defeat in Bandaragama, where Ajith copy & paste Perera was the UNP organizer.
He is waiting for SF, sadly for a longer period than what Ajith copy & paste Perera’s insane brain thought necessary.

We wish Ajith copy & paste perera a speedy recovery.

Your plagiarized blog posts are missed. You are missed too. Come back soon and say something will ya, We like to hear your version of the sorry tale.

Dare to be different, Loser!

Lies, damn lies and SF

2010-02-01T06:35:00.000-08:00

Well I was go to say bad, ugly and SF, but anyways, why does this man still keep repeating all the nonsense he was so good at during elections?

Well I heard a swan cake (apparently ordered from Hilton) still remains uncut in his dining table. They were planning to celebrate victory it seems. But the cake was little unlucky. Is it true? Any idea on how I can have a slice of that cake please? Promise I will share it with rest on Kottu.

Losers have to pee. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Even at your peak Mister !

Shall we lose, humbly and with grace?

If this Ad won't change you

2010-01-29T00:28:00.000-08:00

Chances are, nothing ever will change you. To those anti Lankan elements, please let us live in peace.

Here's to the kids of mother lanka

Rathna Deepa Janmabhumi

2010-01-29T00:22:00.000-08:00

A tribute - To Srilanka, To Pandith Amaradeva and to all right thinking citizens of Srilanka.

Humbled, honoured and relieved

2010-01-29T00:19:00.000-08:00

This is how I feel after the elections in which his Excellency mahinda rajapakse was re-elected.

Humbled, honoured and relieved.

Humbled for I belong to the 58% of Srilankans. Well 58% can’t be wrong. Can they?

Honoured for I know I can have a dignified life in my own little paradise.

Relieved because I support democracy and not military rule. I couldn’t have imagined my future under a brutal military Idi Amin Kala weddah. Pooh… So relieved.

I am humbled, honoured and relieved. Let me know how you feel.

Taprobane Uncut defined

2009-07-10T13:32:00.001-07:00

Hello there,

This blog is named after the old Greek word for Sri Lanka, Taprobane. Uncut - the way it is. Uncensored, complete, raw, whole, unexpurgated, unedited, plain truths, blunt facts, and most of all its virgin beauty. Hence the brand name Taprobane Uncut (TU).

Sri Lanka’s extraordinary history is intimately tied to its geography. A meeting ground between the East and the West, it has always been an invader's paradise. Independence came at great cost. Sri Lanka’s history since independence has been marked by disunity and intermittent periods of virtual chaos.

We witnessed a bloody war that left us with little time to celebrate our Srilankan-ness. But i'm convinced Post war Srilanka has much more to offer the world.

Remember this blog is a tribute to this land that i call my own. Needless to say I hope to promote Sri Lanka through this blog. I may not update this blog regularly. Sorry. But life is such - too little time to focus on life's real pleasures.

From this blog will you hear, see, learn about the virgin beauty that is Srilanka. Well you can fall in love with her if you wish.

Be it business, tourism, marriage or string hoppers !

It’s all here, Uncut. Welcome to Taprobane Uncut.

National Anthem

2009-07-10T12:14:00.000-07:00

Very first post on this blog. Let's start with our national anthem.