We here at Taprobane Uncut pride ourselves in recognizing Srilanka’s best, whether it be our best bloggers, best restaurants or even best losers. We thought why not apply this idea to Srilanka’s Best Assholes also!
So we conducted a survey in association with Nielsen Media Research and The Srilankan Council For Social Welfare to determine Srilanka’s Best And Most Well Respected Most Popular Assholes.
The methodology is based on a ranking system, each asshole is determined on the A-SCORE™© or Asshole Score. The whole asshole score is a compilation of individual hole scores consisting of the survey results, an independent committee recommendation report and an evaluation by a jury of peers and other well-respected assholes.
This is the nation’s tribute to the best ASSHOLES chosen from a diverse array of fields of Politics, Sport, Entertainment, Music, The Arts, Television and many many more.
So without further ado, we present Srilanka’s best ASSHOLES. A tribute and a small way to appreciate those among us who are so full of shit that they remind us everyday of what it means to be that uniquely Srilankan asshole.
In this episode we introduce asshole number ten.
#10
Name: Indi
Full Name: Indrajit Samarajiva
Occupation: Jobless, Morality Teacher, Fiction writer, Blogger, Wannabe Politician, News Breaker, Host of Ind.ca, Man of Many Talents.
Asshole Since: 1982
A – Score: 9.9/10
Bio: With a first name as intimidating as ‘Indrajit’, Samarajiva realized pretty early in life that if he wanted to be an asshole he had to shorten it to Indi. Yeah! That’s how short his thing is.
Given to constant bouts of hysteria, manic depression and bi-polar syndrome with a severe case of schizophrenia. This mental patient should have been fastened to his bed in a mental asylum since he was diagnosed with a severe ‘penis fixation’ while still a boy.
Instead Sunday Leader decided to do the next best possible thing: Put Him On a Column.
Since then there’s been no looking back for this mentally unstable lunatic with a dick infatuation. Seen weekly on the tabloid, he immerses himself completely into being an asshole constantly throwing temper tantrums, hissy fits, blaring his lungs screaming at vulnerable and hormonally imbalanced Srilankans.
Known fondly to his dear cyber idiots as ‘Kottu Indi’ this brilliant intellectual can count chickens even before they hatch!!
Holder of Srilanka’s most famous goatee, this bespectacled gentleman is Srilanka’s most well known political expert on many things including election astrology.
The face of credibility and the scion of modern day Srilankan journalism. Indi Samarajiva is a stalwart. Credited with the invention of Kottu, Indi Samarajiva’s Kottu has done to journalism what the USB Drive has done to computers.
The Americans may brag about CNN News, clearly they haven’t seen Kottu.
Astrological predictions and sex stories aside nobody covers crabs, whales, and fiction better than Indi Samarajiva and his team of fearless journalists.
The man who has interviewed Sarath Fonseka more times than anyone else on the planet was the personal choice of SF who called up Indi Samarajiva just before his coup at the Cinnamon Lakeside preferring him over other media now speaks volumes for Kottu and Indi Samarajiva’s incredible power to influence the masses.
So here’s to the man who created a news channel simply out of thin air and fart smells. All the way from articles about whales to creating a cyber community of idiots.
When you score a near perfect 9.9/10 then it’s guaranteed that you are the greatest and the best asshole of the current era! Maybe the greatest asshole of all time!!!
Though he would never actually stand a chance in hell against someone like Ranil Wickramasinghe, this young asshole has a long way to go before he becomes a bigger, larger and more widespread asshole but we applaud him for his efforts and entertainment. Well done Indi and keep going, you’re the 10th most popular asshole in Srilanka!
We salute you Mr.Samarajiva.
What an asshole!
NB: Other Assholes next week, one asshole at a time peeps!
4 comments:
Sittingnut....you have been attending English lessons I see.
How much money do you get paid (and which old German uncle pays you) to sit and home and write this drivel? :-)
'Taprobane Uncut is no ordinary blog. It strives to be professional and is committed to factual accuracy.'
And then you call the guy you're writing on an asshole countless times, and make a personal attack on the dude?
Your blog is definitely NOT professional, it's tabloidal. No, that was not a compliment.
psycho
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... too funnyy
Post a Comment